Men's view of the issue.
The other day I watched once again **the comedy "Hitch" **(I think everybody saw the film at least once). And do you know what seemed to be funny about it? All the tips Hitch was giving men sounded like something anyone could tell you when asked for advice!
All he said did not seem to be a big secret: just a bit of curtesy, several complements (without dirty hints, of course), first breath-taking dates, after which he doesn't attack your mouth (although, you wouldn't probably mind), showing his respect for you as a personality.
**All it takes to conquer a woman's heart **is to be kind, listening, understanding and confident at the same time. And ...BANG! The girl is **head over heals in love **with the sweet guy!
The guy's part seems to be so easy, but what about the girl's lines **in this play called **"Relationships"? **What if **SHE **was the first to get interested in a man and what magic words shall **SHE utter to make the lovestory of her life begin?
So, I started to look for some sort of Mr. or Mrs. Hitch that would **help WOMEN to win men of their dreams **and the first worthy thing that I've found is an article written by a man, in which **HE defines 10 major mistakes women make**** ****that can totally ruin the relationships. **
Here is a passage from it:
Mistake #1) Betting Your Love-Life On His "Potential"**
Do you know any women who want the man
they're dating to behave differently?
Of course you do.
And just like me, I'm sure you have friends
who date guys who don't have much going for them
or who don't treat them very well.
Somehow these women always have an excuse
for the guy's shortcomings.
What's going on here?
It's actually very simple.
Women (and men) don't base their choices of
men on how "nice" or "good" someone is to them
Women choose the men they do because they
feel a powerful **GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION **for them.
And guess what?
Some women will continue to put up with a****guy that doesn't treat them very well.
Sometimes for months or years...
But why in the world would a woman do that!?
Well, to put it simply, **they confuse the
strong attraction they feel for the guy with
a deeper "connection".**
Women who do this are doomed to end up
in failed relationships with the "wrong" guys.
How do I know?
Because I've seen it at least a hundred
And because **I've been this guy in the past
Thinking back on past dating and relationships
I've had, I was selfish and didn't offer much.
I'm amazed the women put up with me.
But they did...all the while hoping that
I would somehow change.
The women I dated hoped I'd change.
The only thing they saw in me that led
them to want to keep me around was the "potential"
they saw in me to share my feelings and communicate
**The potential for something better **and
the potential for me **to change **and be a **better****lover, boyfriend, **companion or whatever...
The truth was, I was hopelessly bad at these
things at the time.
And more importantly, I wasn't even at a place
in my life where I knew how to or was interested
in **developing a deep and committed relationship **-
But deep down these **women believed **that if
they tried hard enough, that it would make up
for what was lacking.
They believed that **I could become someone else**with them.... and that this would be easy for us
Talk about a losing battle.
It doesn't make a lot of "logical" sense...
But until you accept that lots of women do
this AND that YOU could be doing it on some level,
you'll NEVER have the success with men that you
choose and want.
The funny thing about this "mistake" is that when I read it first, I thought that **it had nothing to do with **me personally and I scrolled to #2 mistake.
But a minute later I realized that my only long-term relationships (2 years and a half) ended **exactly in the result of my **"great expectations" from the guy! Iam not faultfinding, no, he is a great guy and he'll make somebody really happy! Eventually:)
But the thing is that when men court us, they try to be better than they really are **and ... silly us! We fall in love with people that **do not even exist! At the beginning HE is SO ****attentive, SO caring, SO thoughtful! But take the same man in relationships several months after - and...**HELLO! DO I KNOW U??? **In the majority of cases, there is a **COMPLETE STRANGER **in your house, mam!
So, if one day U wake up by a man whose appearance seems familiar, but the personality is totally different **from the one you had deep feelings for, **DON'T PANIC! Your beloved one didn't become a victim of UFO, and there is no alian inside him.
This simply means that** HE tried REALLY ****hard to get YOU, but it is too much for him to play this GOODY part his whole life AND he couldn't help showing you real **HIM.
If you are not comfortable with the visual inside (and sometimes outside) transformations of your partner, don't wait and hope for ****the best, thinking that he just has bad times at work or that its fall depression that effects him...
NO, NO and again NO! UH-UH! ** No way! Believe me, in this case you are just **wasting your time !
The situation will become just worth! Just like me, U'll probably make yourself fall in love with NEW HIM. But you can't fool yourself, you'll have that feeling that there is something wrong in your relationships, that that's not the PRINCE CHARMING you DREAMT OF!
At a certain stage U can even start blaming yourself! NEVER EVER DO THAT! U'll think that you are not pretty/clever/sexy/young enough to keep him interested. But believe me, the man that really diserves and loves **U **will never let you develop any complex!
So, if you are NOT comfortable with YOUR relationships, if he is not as good as you want him to be... DROP IT!
And don't be afraid to be alone, it's not for long. Otherwise, how will you meet the man of your dreams if you **spend all your free time with the guy **who isn't even half that good? **Being with someone cuts down the chance of meeting **the right person.
Finally here comes the last aspect of the matter I want to bring up: it is PITTY.
To be more exact - pitty for him and for the time already spent on the relationships.
First, let's make it clear with time: Of course, we always feel sorry for the time we have already wasted on something, but just think about the time U'll waste on him in the future!
It can take years and still end in the very same dead-end. So, why would you like to spend your life on something that isn't really worth it? If you deceide to quit, do it immediately, don't set any terms, like Birthdays, Christmas, Easter etc.! Take some action! It is YOUR ****life passing by **and you can already celebrate the same Christmas **with a special person, who knows!
As for PITTY for the GUY... Never mind! Of course, there can be sweet sensetive men, for whom it is important to find the right words not to hurt, but the main idea is: MEN NEVER HESITATE ONCE THEY DECIDE TO LEAVE U! It is true! Pitty can just make it worth for both of you! If you are positive about breaking-up, JUST DO IT! It'll be a favor for both of you. U'll end no-future relationships and you'll give both of you a chance to** find the TRUE LOVE!**
Well, that's it for now, girls, later on I'll publish other <a title="Top 7 dating mistakes …" href="http://allwomenstalk.com/top-7-dating-mistakes/">dating mistakes WE do, but so far just think if this mistake has anything to do with** you**. Analysis does help to correct or to build relationships in the future :) So, think, analize, take some action if necessary, because your LOVE is somewhere out there, if you don't look for it, how will you find it? :) Good luck!