I hate people on bikes who seem oblivious to runners on the path. Dudes, pedestrians, including runners, have the right of way! So please don't hog the path. Thanks!
13 Gels
To paraphrase Matthew Inman, energy gels taste like "boob milk from a cyborg." But they don't have to, do they? Can someone please work on this?
14 The Injuries
Shin splints, hammy pulls, and plantar fasciitis. They're not fatal injuries, but if you're a runner, you know they sure feel like they are.
15 The Lingo
You've been a runner for years now. When will your friends finally get the lingo you've been dropping? PR means "personal record" so when I tell you I beat my old PR by more than a minute, don't ask me for the thousandth time what that is, just be happy for me!
16 The Hunger
They think PMS hunger is the biggest, baddest hunger ever. Nope. The hunger of training for a marathon is greater and more consuming. They will never understand. Now let's eat!
17 The Emotion
At about mile 18 in my first marathon, I started crying because I needed salt and I couldn't find the Slim Jim I'd packed in my belt. I cried because I saw a dead bird on the side of the road. I cried because I saw someone holding a really nice sign. Running is emotional. I get it.
18 The Fear
Sometimes we get scared on a run. Off-leash dogs? Scary, sure. But running alone, at night, in the early morning, or in a secluded area freaks us out for a lot of reasons, assault being the biggest one. Male runners don't feel this way, and no one else really understands why you keep pepper spray around your wrist. Sure. It's for the dogs.
19 The Competition
I'd like to say I'm only in competition with myself, but that's kind of a lie. I'm racing everyone, whether they know it or not, and when they beat me, I'm more upset than I should be. Silly? Sure. But it's a problem!
20 Period Problems
I've tried everything to cope with my flow when I'm running: tampons, pads, sponges, a cup. Like dealing with a period when you're NOT running isn't hard enough already, try coping when you're running a marathon for five hours.
21 Timing
All your friends know is they're proud of you because you finished that 5k. They don't understand why you're so upset that the chip timing or clock was off. I get you though. Come on, timing company, get your act together!
22 Poop
Oh girl, I get you. I really do. None of your non-runner friends understand the importance of regularity for a runner, but I do. I understand. Let's leave it at that.
