But Mom, He DARED Me!

FINE! You dared me to put my foot where my mouth is so there ya go. You know who you are, both of you, and no this does NOT mean I'll jump off a cliff, moon passing cars, or burp out loud in church if you dare me to. I only make an ass of myself for patriotic, altruistic, and sympathetic reasons.

Yes, yes, I know I'd never make the first round on American Idol, don't rub it in and so what? I didn't audition, now did I? Besides, I sing at funerals and senior citizen centers and conferences and rodeos and baseball games and -- well, basically places where people aren't really listening.

Know what else? There are NO acoustics in my bedroom! No sound man! No monitors and no hot guy with a pony tail winking at me. Maybe I should have recorded this in the bathroom instead of sitting on my bed watching Emmitt Smith dance on television.

Too late.

And, yeah, I don't know why I can sing in front of a couple of thousand people but this cruddy little microphone with no windshield made me a nervous wreck but you can't throw tomatoes over the internet.

The point is, yeah, I really WILL sing "**God Bless America**" any time, any place, so THERE!

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