Britney Spears wrote a letter to the photo agency X17 the other day to apologize for attacking them with an umbrella. Except, not really because it sounds like she was on drugs when she wrote it. That or she has the worst sense of humor since Carrot Top. Britney writes,
I want to apologize for the past incedent [sic] with the umbrella. I was preparing a character for a possible movie role where the husband doesn’t play his part so they swap places. Unfortunately I didn’t get the part. I’m sorry I got all carried away with my role!
I bet I could be as clever as Britney if I ate paint chips every day. Imagine having to hang around her. You’d have to listen to this crap all the time. Not me though. I won’t stand for this. After the first joke, I would stare at her expressionless, shake my head no and smack her in the face with a shovel while she’s guffawing. Alas, it is not to be. I was taught never to hit a woman. F you morality!