A Protective Tom Cruise, Hides Suri from the World, Aliens

After the Vanity Fair photo shoot, Suri Cruise has rarely been spotted in public, which shouldn’t come as a surprise considering she was hidden away for several months after her birth before anyone saw her. However, as the Chronicle reports, other celebrities have taken their children out to play in the sunlight.

Most families, even famous ones, can be seen frolicking in playgrounds with their children. Brooke Shields has become a familiar face on the L.A. park scene. Her children enjoy easygoing public lives that are a stark contrast to that of Suri Cruise even though Suri was born on the same day (April 18) and in the same L.A. hospital as Brooke’s little Grier, reports the mag.

Unfortunately, Brook Shields may be a terrible example considering a picture of her eating a banana would only sell for 75 cents, whereas if Tom Cruise was sucking on a banana, it would go for $75,000. But if paparazzi pictures weren’t Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’s deterrent, it could be because the world is dangerous. Real dangerous. According to the Chronicle,

“That child is growing up inside a bubble,” says a source. “I think both dad [Tom Cruise] and Katie are so worried that if Suri is exposed to the public, her life could be in danger.”

Could you blame Tom Cruise? I’m told the bad guys use special teleportation devices to steal children who are outside or seen through a window. This is why I suggest living in a basement, in a small closet (no, this isn’t a reference for Tom Cruise’s sexuality, it is just safer there because monsters are only outside).