Do you have one of those relationship dealbreaker lists?You know, the list that describes the qualities you have to have in a man,along with the qualities you simply won’t tolerate?
If you’ve taken the time to write such a list, I'm impressed!
Now put it away.
Then, being as honest as you can be with yourself, make twobrand new lists:
• The “Good Qualities I Bring to a Relationship” list
• The “Not-So-Good Qualities I Bring to a Relationship” list
Why these two lists? Let me give you an example from my ownlife.
During a bad fight with a man years ago, I caught a glimpseof my reflection in a mirror. I was more upset at the person I saw in thatmirror than I was at the person across the room, hurling putdowns at me.
In the moment, I knew that being with this man wouldcontinue to bring out my worst qualities. In fact, with him, I was turning into someone Ireally didn’t want to be. And knowing that -- even more than recognizing what amean son of a bitch he was -- made it impossible for me to stay in therelationship.
So began my growing awareness of who I was with different men, and how that was more telling in someways than who they were with me.
Hey. I know it’shard to stop analyzing the hell out of men’s behavior. We’re conditioned to doit, right? And they’re so…interesting.
But who you are with a man -- and what being with him bringsout of you -- can be one of the greatest dealbreakers of all.
If you're already in a relationship, but not happy, or the next time you're getting involved with a man, think about those two lists that describe you.
Because a man who’s right for you brings out many more of your good qualities than your not-so-good ones.
After having SO MUCH fun being interviewed live on Wombat's fab Friday nights BlogTalkShow, I'm working on two new lists:
• The "Good Qualities I Bring to an Interview" list
• The "Not-So-Good Qualities I Bring to an Interview" list
I have plans to beef up the first list.
Wombat has nicely captured the highlights of the interview in his latest KissnBlog post (here). Go. Read it -- you really should be enjoying his and Aspen's blog on a regular basis, anyway!
And please, folks, listen to the show (here). More to follow...