I am in a wonderful relationship, with someone who is my best friend and partner – and we still fight like proverbial cats and dogs. The thing is, we never fight over anything big; when there's a big issue, we communicate beautifully (after lots of work, of course). But with little nitpicking things, like issues that come from living with another person, we totally argue. I am trying to get better at it, because I'll admit, a lot of it's on me – I'm a Leo, if that gives you any indication. If you want to stop going at it with your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife as well, then here are 8 helpful tips to keep from arguing with your partner.
This is hugely important – and for as simple as it is, it can actually be pretty hard to do. You both need to listen to each other, though, to what is said and what is meant. You need to listen closely to what's wrong, and what the underlying issues are. You might be frustrated or angry, but you still need to hear what your partner is trying to tell you.
2. Don't Be Insulting
One of the most common things to do when you're arguing with anybody is to get insulting, even if it's only subtly so. That's also one of the worst things you can do. You should never, ever insult your partner, especially if you're just doing it because you're angry. It's way too easy to say things you don't mean when you're upset. It also makes the argument that much worse, and it will likely take you away from the central issue.
3. Look for What's Really Wrong
You might be arguing about whose turn it is to take out the trash, or how he forgot he was supposed to have dinner with your family. However, odds are that those problems come down to different issues – your partner might feel like you're not pulling your weight, or you might feel like your partner doesn't take commitments seriously. Finding the deeper issue can actually keep you from arguing in the future.
4. You're Not Right All the Time
I confess that, in an argument with anyone, I prefer to be right. Of course I do – who wants to be wrong? It's technically okay to want to be right, as long as you realize that you can't be right all the time. Trying to act like you are will just lead to more and worse arguments. Trust me, it's okay to be wrong sometimes; it doesn't mean you've lost anything and it doesn't say anything about who or what you are.
5. Choose Your Battles
Some things just aren't worth fighting over. You need to let the small things go, or else it's going to stress out the both of you. Petty grievances don't need to be hashed out over and over again. You may have to accept some things, and just let them go.
6. Give Some Space
Sometimes, the two of you may just need to take some time apart. I don't mean you need to separate, you just need to get out of the same room. If things are getting really heated, give each other time to cool down. Let your partner do what he or she wants to do; you can go outside, take a walk, go for a drive, anything to get you away from the situation until you can put things in perspective.
7. Be Thankful
Above all else, you sometimes need to be grateful for your partner. These feelings of gratitude will come across in discussions, and they will also, again, help you keep things in perspective. Remember that you love your partner, and you don't want to drive him or her away over something that can be fixed.
Every relationship benefits from compromise. Sometimes you just have to know when to give. You can't always get your own way and neither can your partner. Rather, you can try to meet in the middle so that both of you are satisfied.
When a relationship is worth working on and worth saving, there are many things you can do to get over the rough patches. One of the most important things you can do is to remember how worth it the relationship is. How do you deal with arguments with your partner?
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