There is no getting around the fact that people change as time goes by. We may find ourselves in a relationship that is no longer working and know we need to end it. When faced with the end of a once close relationship we often put off the inevitable by procrastinating and not addressing the situation head-on. What are the best ways to let him down easy? There are essentially seven ways to best break off a relationship and minimize hurt feelings.
1. Be Kind
The Golden Rule tells us to treat others as we would like to be treated. With that in mind, tell him the news the same way you would prefer to hear it from him if the situation were reversed.
2. Be Present
Letting him down in person shows him you respect him as a person and that you value the relationship you once shared. Do not ever break it off over Facebook, or in a text!
3. Be Brave
Do not use email, Twitter, the phone or any other impersonal mode of communication to inform him that the relationship is over. While it may be effective it would also be considered by most people to be tacky, cold and callous. Don’t let him hear the news second hand. Have the courage to tell him yourself; at least he will not have the pain of being the last to know.
4. Be Honest
Tell the truth about why you want to end the relationship. Let him down easy by respecting his feelings; don’t start off telling him everything he did wrong or what he could have done that might have changed things. Don’t dwell on the past, rather focus on the future.
5. Be Prepared
In most breakups at least one party is not in favor of ending the relationship. Be ready to tell him the real reasons you want to end the romance; list them on paper if necessary. There is likely to be resistance from him, be ready to refute his pleas with points of your own. In other words, be mentally prepared so that the break up does not degenerate into a full blown argument with words said that cannot be taken back.
6. Be Quick
Don’t wait to have the breakup talk. It only becomes harder for both of you as time passes; his feelings may be deepening as yours recede. Once you have made your mind up to break it off do it as quickly as possible. It does not get any easier as time goes on.
7. Be Finished
Generally speaking it is best to make the break clean and complete. Even though you may still like him as a friend, it does him no favor to be around you and talk with you; it may engender false hope. It is far kinder to simply end the relationship with no further contact.
Breaking up is hard but you can let him down easy. Treat him with all the respect due your past romance and in the end, you will feel better about yourself. What is the best way you have broken up with an ex?
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