I’ve written a lot of posts about foes and, since those people don’t really deserve to be talked about anymore, this post is going to be about the ones who should be mentioned and praised every day – real friends! They are out there and I’m sure each and every one of you has at least one. However, these aforementioned foes often distract us, making it hard for us to see who our real friends are. So, if you need to be sure that your friendship is real, make sure your friend is…
1 Happy for You
If you are successful, happily married (or in love) and can afford to buy whatever you please, you can count on a lot of jealous, hateful comments coming from people who used to be all nice and sweet. However, only a true friend will be truly happy and interested to know more about your successes and share those happy moments. A true friendship is the one where friends keep their fingers crossed for each other and do whatever they can to contribute to the positive outcome.
2 Not Competitive
Friendship is an emotional bond, not a popularity contest, so if friends see each other’s successes as great opportunities to celebrate, you can bet there’s nothing but true friendship going on there. You should be happy for your BFF even when your own life isn’t all perfect at the moment, and he/she should demonstrate the same type of behavior toward you. Being competitive isn’t a bad quality at all as long you don’t let it affect your friendship – it can help you both be more successful and motivated or ruin you both if you start finding new ways to trip one another.
Let’s not mix honesty and brutality, please. I’m just trying to point out that friends should be honest enough to speak their minds but kind enough not to make their opinions sound hurtful. Real friends do give each other all kinds of advice and that often includes comments about new boyfriends, outfits, lifestyle and careers. If there is something you’re doing wrong, you can rely on your friend to point it out. However, a true friend will compliment you too -- as opposed to a foe, who’s going to turn a “blind” eye and comment only when he/she has a chance to criticize.
LOL! I know this doesn’t sound like the best way to describe a friend but let me tell you a little story that will hopefully explain why I chose this term. You see, I had one girl who used to be my BFF for years. When our lives changed to the point where she got all hateful and stuff, she kept passing that for friendship, insisting that she’s my best friend, demanding exclusive rights to me, like I was a pet, a pair of shoes or something like that. There was this other girl I knew for at least as long as the first one but we were never close enough to call each other best friends. So while the first one was busy bi*ching about her rights as a BFF, making snide comments and hoping I’ll fail in whatever I was trying to do, the second girl was genuinely interested, supportive and has even given me some great advice and worked in my best interest more than once. She was the BFF in the shadow and she never tried to butt-in or compete for the title, she actually did all that because she cares for me. It’s a long story, I know, but it has a point, so look around yourself and I’m sure you’ll find out that you have a person just like my girl number two – a person who isn’t trying to own you but knows friendship is about giving as well as receiving.
5 Ready to Help
Friendship is not all fun and games; a real friend knows that there will be times when you’ll need him or her for something that’s not related to partying, gossiping or anything like that. So, a friendship in which both sides are willing to offer everything from a shoulder to cry on to physical or material help, is definitely a real one.
6 A Good Listener
You can’t expect to be the only one doing the talking, but when you really need to get something off your chest, you can count on your friend to be there and just listen. Hell, a good friend will listen even if you don’t have anything interesting to say and it’s on you to return the favor and never try to abuse this quality.
7 Ready to Adapt
Childhood friends are very hard to keep simply because people change; after some years, they just don’t have anything to talk about. Great friends, on the other hand, the ones who truly care for each other, will always find a common ground. They will adapt and try to fit into each other’s lifestyles enough to have at least one thing to talk about. Like the Sex and the City ladies: each one of them is different and they all lead different lives, yet they are always there for each other and only a hurricane could stop them from making to that Sunday brunch every week.
Oh, if only those numerous foes could be traded for at least one good person. Friendship is incredibly important. You don't have to have tons of BFFs, just one special one will do, but lots of friends are great too -- as long as they're real friends. So, how many true friends do you have?