It seems every few days we’re learning of some public official’s or celebrity’s affair. Years ago, these affairs could mean the end of their political career, or their celebrity endorsement deals, but now marital disloyalty is almost commonplace, not nearly as shocking as it used to be. Some of us, stuck in an unhappy or less-than-exciting marriage may be tempted to have an affair, since we see so few repercussions in the public arena, but that’s just such a bad idea. First of all, we don’t see the terribly painful side effects of those revealed affairs, but believe me, they’re there. The fall-out from an exposed affair can be devastating, altering the course of the rest of your life! So before you sneak off with that hottie from the marketing department, or your daughter’s soccer coach, here are some things to consider. Here are 7 reasons NOT to have an affair.
1. It’s Illegal
Did you know that cheating on your spouse, or helping someone else cheat on their spouse, is actually illegal? In some states, it’s even possible to sue the other man or woman for alienation of affection. Why risk breaking the law, or being sued in civil court? Don’t cheat, and don’t help someone else cheat.
2. It’s Immoral
Every organized religion recognizes the sanctity of marriage, and most often include a religious ceremony in addition to the civil one we need to be married. Why risk your immortal soul or your karma for a tumble in the hay?
3. It’s Dishonest
No-one’s perfect, but we like to think that at least in most cases, people are honest. We trust our politicians and public figures, which is why it’s so disappointing when we learn they’ve had an affair. The bottom line is, we don’t like dishonesty, so why would we want to be dishonest ourselves? Remember, when you married, you took vows, promises, so don’t be so hasty to break your word.
4. It’s Painful
As a child of divorce (due to my father’s repeated faithlessness) I can tell you how painful it is when families are torn apart by an affair, or series of affairs. All of the emotions you as an adult feel when the affair comes to light are nothing compared to what your children will feel. Imagine their humiliation, confusion, insecurity, and sorrow. Add to that your spouse’s pain, and your own. That’s a lot of anguish.
5. It’s Embarrassing
Imagine having to tell your children, friends, parents, about the affair. Imagine how humiliating and embarrassing that would be. I’ve always tried to avoid doing anything I wouldn’t want my grandmother to know about, and having an affair would most certainly fall into that category. Save yourself the embarrassment, and don’t do it!
6. It’s Expensive
Affairs lead to divorce, which takes its toll, not only on our emotional selves, and on our families, but also on our pocketbooks. A divorce due to an affair is likely to be bitter, long, and drawn out, and the only ones who win in such a scenario are the lawyers, who will be making thousands, or even tens of thousands, of dollars. I can think of so many better ways to spend that kind of money!
7. It’s Not Worth It!
The bottom line is, all things considered, having an affair is just not worth the anguish to your spouse and children, the humiliation when you’re caught, and the financial toll you’ll pay when your spouse decides to divorce you. I’m not suggesting you stay in an unhappy marriage, but think before you start an affair… perhaps marriage counseling, or even a split fueled by mutual understanding, rather than the bitterness of an affair, is the better choice.
Suddenly that fling with the guy from accounting, or your old high school sweetheart, doesn’t seem like such a good idea, does it? Good! Whatever the problems are in your marriage, having an affair won’t resolve them, and will actually make them more complicated. Get help. See a counselor. But don’t have an affair. If you’re a married girl, do you have any other affair-related advice to share?
Top Photo Credit: AXEHD