4 Types of Break Ups and Ways to Deal with Them ...

By Kati

4 Types of Break Ups and Ways to Deal with Them ...

There are several different types of break ups, and understanding them is vital for protecting your relationship from them, or if it’s too late for that, for dealing with them. Here’s my guide to the different types of break ups, so armed with enough knowledge, you can defend yourself against them...

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1

The Mutual Break up

The Mutual Break up Photo Credit: contrast

This is where both partners agree mutually to terminate the relationship. It’s usually when all feelings have died or when one partner undergoes a major life change, such as a new job far away and can't seem to stay in along distance relationship. This sounds like the least painful break up but most people still feel a sense of loss. Even if you don’t love them anymore, you might still find yourself missing them. Depending on how long you’ve been together, you might find yourself doing things “their way,” and expecting them home at certain times or going to restaurants that the two of you went to etc. Allow yourself time to grieve, and don’t rush to move on.

2

The Abusive Relationship Break up

The Abusive Relationship Break up Photo Credit: bored-now

An abusive boyfriend/husband is a definite sign that it's time to breakup. While this kind of break up is necessary, it often feels even more painful than a normal break up. It can be hard for family and friends to understand why you still miss and probably love someone who has abused you but it’s extremely hard to fight these feelings. You might find yourself wanting to call them or meet up. This is a bad idea, as it gives the person control over you again. Instead, take some time off and mourn for a few days. Then throw yourself into your life, as keeping yourself distracted is a good way to forget how much you miss them. If you were the abusive partner, keep yourself out of relationships for a while and think about what made you act the way you did. Discussing your feelings with a therapist or getting anger management might be a good step and stay out of relationships until you recover.

3

He Left You

He Left You Photo Credit: moonk_97

This has the added pain of being a shock, which leaves you no time to prepare. If you’ve been broken up with, write down his number and hide it somewhere out of the way. Then delete it from your phone, so you aren’t tempted to call him. Have one day of mourning, with ice cream and sad films and as much crying as you like and then focus on moving on. Sign up for a new class, have a night with the girls... anything that will distract you and help you to move on. When you are feeling more balanced, you can contact him to ask why if you don’t already know. If the problem is fixable, suggest a meet up, but try not to get your hopes up. If the meeting doesn't go as planned, it's time to get over himand move on!

4

You Left Him

So you've considered it for a long time and finally decided to break up. You told him and felt terrible and now you’ve realized what you’ve let go of. The most important thing is that you know what you want. If you aren’t completely sure, leave him alone while you gather your thoughts. Do you want him back just because you miss having a boyfriend or do you actually miss him? Just remember that many people regret break ups right after and usually it's just a phase. But if your phase doesn't pass, contact him and ask to meet. Explain your reasons for breaking up with him and try to find solutions to the problems. If you manage this, then talk about getting back together. If you can’t find a way to fix the issues, the relationship will just crumble again and cause more heartache

Break ups are hard to deal with even if you were the one to cause it. Remember that you have to give yourself time to heal and overcome the breakupbut don’t wallow. If you feel seriously sad, or unmotivated, discuss your feelings with a doctor who may be able to recommend medication or a therapist. It’s normal to feel hurt, but most people bounce back fine and even become stronger in the process. Every time a relationship fails, it teaches you something new and you are better prepared to start a new relationship. Do you know another relationship type, or a tip to deal with one? Please let me know!

Top Photo Credit: llulu

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Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

I been with someone i used too have a crush on but now i broke up with him it was hard ! I think back on it and i think i know my true love is out there but time running short in life... i going out with someone now and i think im in LOVE but its not because i know when your in love. love is powerful it make us do things you dont think of but there always YOUR TRUE LOVE OUT THERE YOU JUST HAVE TO FIND HIM/HER! Its Never To late Just Follow Your Heart And Let Your Heart Answer The Questions... And Remember No One Is Better Than You. You Have A Reason To Be Here!

i always say that the longest relationship you'll ever have is the one with yourself, and that's the one that needs to come first no matter what. and i think it's an important thing to remember in the face of any breakup. if it's not what's best for you, then why stay?

It's been really hard for me, becuase out of the blue one afternoon he texted me, saying he wanted to dump me. He pulled lots of shit out of the air about "Just being friends" and "We're too different" It's so hard because we had the same friends, and spent so long together. I just cant help but respond to that Msn blinky light. Everything reminds me of him, from lynx deoderent (which nearly every boy wears here) to certain songs, (any grease songs, we did the musical together as partners, he carried me in a long dress to one of them) Every time I see a couple I start crying. It's been two monthes, and I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. He was my first real relationship, my first real make-out session, everthing like that. My friends try to help, but they hated him from before I went out with him, so they just said, "well, your lucky" I feel like the world has ended... and I'm the only one left.

"Dont love" :-(

Well said, riajem! Break ups are especially hard when you put your own life on hold for the sake of the relationship. So take heart, treat yourself to some TLC, and realize that life goes on and you will meet someone new. Thanks for this post!

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