--- title: "20 Funny Jokes about Men ..." description: "#1; #2; #3; #4; #5; More ..." url: "https://allwomenstalk.com/20-funny-jokes-about-men/" category: "fashion" last_updated: "2026-06-02" --- # 20 Funny Jokes about Men ... Feeling a bit anti-man today? Here are twenty funny jokes that are bound to bring a smile to your face :) ## #1 Never let your man's mind wonder – it’s too little to be out on its own. ## #2 If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital. _10 Signs He’s Ready to Commit …_ ## #3 Definition of a man with manners – he gets out of the bath to pee. ## #4 What did God say after creating Adam? I must be able to do better than that! ## #5 What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow! ## #6 Real [Men](https://allwomenstalk.com/7-things-its-okay-for-men-to-do/).. claim to be feminist but still insist on opening doors, driving, and paying for dinner. Most [Men](https://allwomenstalk.com/7-things-its-okay-for-men-to-do/)... claim to be feminists because they let YOU open doors, drive, and pay for dinner. [5 Hot Guys - Who Would You Have Sex With?](https://allwomenstalk.com/five-hot-guys-you-would-get-on-with/) ## #7 [Men](https://allwomenstalk.com/7-things-its-okay-for-men-to-do/) are like ... Placemats. They only show up when there's food on the table. ## #8 Men are like... Government bonds. They take so long to mature. ## #9 Men are like... Lava lamps. Fun to look at it but not all that bright. ## #10 Men are like... Bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest. ## #11 Men are like... Handguns. Keep one around long enough and your gonna want to shoot it. ## #12 Men are like... ..Parking spots. The good ones are taken, and the rest are too small. ## #13 COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.: Female: A desire to get married and raise a family. Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend. [9+ Words Women Use …](https://allwomenstalk.com/9-words-women-use/) ## #14 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.: Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve. Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed. ## #15 The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!". Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?" ## #16 Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. ## #17 Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing. ## #18 OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house ## #19 Any argument that a man and woman are involved in, the woman gets the last word. Anything a man says afterwards is the beginning of a new argument. ## #20 Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway! :) [20+ Ridiculous Phrases Men Use to Break up with Us …](https://allwomenstalk.com/20-ridiculous-phrases-men-use-to-break-up-with-us/) So now you should be feeling a little happier, so grab a chick flick and some popcorn and celebrate being the better sex. Or if you need some more cheering up, check out [www.coolfunnyjokes.com](http://www.coolfunnyjokes.com/), _www.basicjokes.com_ and [www.funnyjunkz.com](https://goo.gl/sIHWT3) Found something hilarious? Be sure to post it in comments! ## Related Posts - [im gonna have a bf gif](https://allwomenstalk.com/10-tips-on-how-to-get-a-boyfriend-for-girls/) - [johnny depp casual](https://allwomenstalk.com/10-essential-things-guys-need-to-have-johnny-depps-style/) - [what do men notice about women](https://allwomenstalk.com/8-things-men-notice-about-women-instantly/) - [8 Lies Us Women Always Tell ...](https://allwomenstalk.com/8-lies-us-women-always-tell/) - [do men prefer skinny or curvy women](https://allwomenstalk.com/study-proves-men-prefer-curvy-women/) - [men in home](https://allwomenstalk.com/10-rules-for-bringing-men-home/) - [you cant change a man](https://allwomenstalk.com/10-things-you-just-cant-change-about-men/) - [how to be a high quality woman](https://allwomenstalk.com/7-traits-we-women-find-attractive/) - [what does getting eaten out feel like](https://allwomenstalk.com/9-things-you-can-tell-about-a-man-from-the-way-he-eats/) - [who is an ideal man](https://allwomenstalk.com/my-idea-of-my-ideal-man/) - [11 Quirky Things Men Love about Women ...](https://lifestyle.allwomenstalk.com/quirky-things-men-love-about-women/) - [10 Cool Things about Men ...](https://love.allwomenstalk.com/10-cool-things-about-men/) ## Site Information - [Main page](https://allwomenstalk.com) - [Contact us](https://allwomenstalk.com/contact.html) - [HTML article](https://allwomenstalk.com/20-funny-jokes-about-men/)