--- title: "10 Wittiest One-Liners ..." description: "What is Listed as the Hair Colour on a Drivers License of a Bald Headed Man?; If at First You Don't Succeed, Destroy All Evidence That You Tried; Borrow Money from Pessimists- They Don't Expect It Back; What is a \"free\" Gift - Aren't All Gifts Free?; Why is It That when One Man Kills Another, He is Hanged as a Murderer, but when One Man Kills Millions, He is Hailed as a Conqueror?; More ..." url: "https://allwomenstalk.com/10-wittiest-one-liners/" category: "lifestyle" last_updated: "2026-06-07" --- # 10 Wittiest One\-Liners ... I wonder if one-liners are the hardest jokes to create, given the need to make a lot out of limited words? Still, there seems to be an endless supply of them, some funnier than others, of course. So I’ve picked out some of the wittiest ones I could find. Enjoy! ## 1. What is Listed as the Hair Colour on a Drivers License of a Bald Headed Man? ![What is Listed as the Hair Colour on a Drivers License of a Bald Headed Man?](https://resize.allw.mn/1028x0/filters:format(webp)/filters:quality(70)/content/www/2010/09/10-wittiest-one-liners/what-is-listed-as-the-hair-colour-on-a-drivers-license-of-a-bald-headed-man_10-wittiest-one-liners_500x375.jpg) Photo Credit: [Flatboy](https://www.flickr.com/photos/54395277@N00/70002427/) Good point. N/A? Flesh-coloured? Once brown, now bald? ## 2. If at First You Don't Succeed, Destroy All Evidence That You Tried ![If at First You Don't Succeed, Destroy All Evidence That You Tried](https://resize.allw.mn/1028x0/filters:format(webp)/filters:quality(70)/content/www/2010/09/10-wittiest-one-liners/if-at-first-you-dont-succeed-destroy-all-evidence-that-you-tried_10-wittiest-one-liners_500x375.jpg) Photo Credit: [incurable_hippie](https://www.flickr.com/photos/hippie/3247804782/) Advice that the Enron guys (and many other corporate thieves) would have done well to remember … ## 3. Borrow Money from Pessimists- They Don't Expect It Back ![Borrow Money from Pessimists- They Don't Expect It Back](https://resize.allw.mn/1028x0/filters:format(webp)/filters:quality(70)/content/www/2010/09/10-wittiest-one-liners/borrow-money-from-pessimists-they-dont-expect-it-back_10-wittiest-one-liners_500x375.jpg) Photo Credit: [chrisjohnbeckett](https://www.flickr.com/photos/chrisjohnbeckett/2930797449/) What a pity that the banks are all optimists. ## 4. What is a "free" Gift - Aren't All Gifts Free? ![What is a "free" Gift - Aren't All Gifts Free?](https://resize.allw.mn/1028x0/filters:format(webp)/filters:quality(70)/content/www/2010/09/10-wittiest-one-liners/what-is-a-free-gift-arent-all-gifts-free_10-wittiest-one-liners_500x333.jpg) Photo Credit: [-Teddy](https://www.flickr.com/photos/lbpuppy/2184782265/) Good question. Is anyone still fooled by this marketing concept? Have they not yet worked out that the cost of the ‘gift’ is factored into the price of the item? ## 5. Why is It That when One Man Kills Another, He is Hanged as a Murderer, but when One Man Kills Millions, He is Hailed as a Conqueror? _ Photo Credit: beatdrifter_ Because they believe that God is on their side …? ## 6. Always Remember You're Unique, Just like Everyone else ![Always Remember You're Unique, Just like Everyone else](https://resize.allw.mn/1028x0/filters:format(webp)/filters:quality(70)/content/www/2010/09/10-wittiest-one-liners/always-remember-youre-unique-just-like-everyone-else_10-wittiest-one-liners_500x333.jpg) Photo Credit: [nathanielperales](https://www.flickr.com/photos/nathanus/3026344677/) It’s rather an oxymoron, this concept. Remember the scene in ‘Life of Brian’, when Brian tells the crowd, ‘You are all individuals!’. As one, they shout, ‘Yes! We are all individuals!’ ## 7. If at First You Don't Succeed, then Skydiving Definitely Isn't for You ![If at First You Don't Succeed, then Skydiving Definitely Isn't for You](https://resize.allw.mn/1028x0/filters:format(webp)/filters:quality(70)/content/www/2010/09/10-wittiest-one-liners/if-at-first-you-dont-succeed-then-skydiving-definitely-isnt-for-you_10-wittiest-one-liners_500x385.jpg) Photo Credit: [The U.S. Army](https://www.flickr.com/photos/soldiersmediacenter/397629064/) This reminds me of a very old joke. A man fell out of a plane. Fortunately, there was a haystack beneath him. Unfortunately, there was a pitchfork in the haystack. Fortunately, he missed the pitchfork. Unfortunately, he missed the haystack. ## 8. Would a Fly without Wings Be Called a Walk? ![Would a Fly without Wings Be Called a Walk?](https://resize.allw.mn/1028x0/filters:format(webp)/filters:quality(70)/content/www/2010/09/10-wittiest-one-liners/would-a-fly-without-wings-be-called-a-walk_10-wittiest-one-liners_500x333.jpg) Photo Credit: [XuYao](https://www.flickr.com/photos/xuyao/4947681412/) No, it would be called dead, once my cat caught up with it (which wouldn’t take long). ## 9. A Seminar on Time Travel Will Be Held Two Weeks Ago _ Photo Credit: Alfonso Domínguez ::_ Makes a change from the old ‘Psychic Evening cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances’. ## 10. Hard Work Never Killed Anyone, but Why Chance It? _ Photo Credit: slworking2_ I think I am going to adopt this as my new motto. What are your favourite one-liners? 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