By Terisa Hill
For the ladies out there who've ever thought the words, "This man is just not good enough for me," I strongly suggest you read further.
There are enough women out there who have put up with men who don't deserve them, that they have come to not remember that they deserve better. It is about time we women come together and try to change that. If we rally ourselves to set a standard approved only by and for women, then we won't feel alone in our tough choices in men. Instead, we will feel support when we are questioning ourselves about if we are worth more than what the particular man in question can give us.
I have found that a man cannot be the primary judge of what a woman is worth. We have to rely on the understanding of our own gender if we want the true worth of who we are.
So why don't I start with a few standards and why:
1. We deserve to still get our doors opened for us.
Yes, we women have fought for equal rights, our freedom, and our pay to be the same as a mans, but that doesn't mean that chivalry has to die in the process. Expect him to open your doors and give you his coat when it's cold. These are the little things he can do to show he's a gentleman. If you don't expect them, then the breed of gentility will die out altogether. Unfortunately it's sometimes up to us to remind them that we are worth his gentlemanly gestures. Just because the times have changed, doesn't mean we should be treated with any less respect and devotion.
2. We are worth men's time.
No matter how they may try to make us feel that their time is more important than ours, it is not. Remember that regardless of gender, career ranking, salary, or status at home, everyone's time is equally important as everyone else's.
3. If we are on a date, we deserve to be treated as if we are the only woman in the room.
Remember that you are giving him your night, when you could be doing something else. Let him be reminded that it was a choice you made to come with him, and that you didn't have to. You are his guest, and should be treated accordingly.
4. If you start to cry about something, and he rolls his eyes, you are still justified in slapping him!
There is an unwritten rule, (which I will now put down so that it is written!), that if he tries to make you feel like your feelings don't matter, you have the right as a human being to be offended by it. Only little kids have an excuse for rolling their eyes. He doesn't.
5. You deserve a man who spends just as much time taking care of you as you take care of him.
Gone are the days of barefoot mommas slaving over three slow-cooking meals a day in the kitchen. You are most likely just as busy as he is, whether in the home or outside of it. Start counting the amount of time he is relaxing to yours. You may be surprised that you are doing all of his laundry, his cooking, and picking up after him, just because you feel it's your womanly duty. If you are going to school, work, or taking care of the kids, most likely you have just as stressful a job as he does. Let go more and let him pick up the slack so that you are being taken care of just as much.
6. Don't, under ANY circumstance, tolerate abuse.
If a man can't keep his fingers off of you, that's usually a good thing, but in this case, it is absolutely off limits. If a man even once has the audacity to hit, throw, or shove you, then you'd better be walking out that door and not looking back. As women, we know this is the standard we need to live by. Because too many of us know that if he hits us even once, then it is only the first of many. Some of you out there may disagree and say that in a moment of rage, men sometimes get out of hand and don't know what they're doing, and are very sorry after wards so we should forgive them. I believe it is fine to forgive, just as long as you are doing it from afar. Even if you think he won't do it again, the point is that you deserve better than to have to wonder if that's true or not. You deserve to be treated with respect regardless who you keep your company with. If it were a random person on the street that hit you, you'd probably call the police. Why is it any different for it to be someone you know and love? It's worse.
7. If a man isn't willing to commit to you, then start moving on.
Let's face it, ladies, we are not going to be hot mommas forever. Keep in mind that if the man you're with isn't willing to be with only you, or if he isn't willing to marry you for another three years, then you are not getting what you deserve. You are worth someone's whole heart. You are worth being with someone who wants only you and who wants to make sure that he won't lose you. Believe me, you really are worth it. If he's not giving you that then I know there will be someone out there that will appreciate you more. And yes, sometimes it takes a while. Better to wait another year for the right one than spend the next ten years on the wrong one.
So let's have each others' backs, ladies! Add to this list under the comment section below and keep up the standards!