Ka-ching! Here’s two terrible, terrible metallic dresses. One was worn on Coney Island (Jessica), the other in Italy (Beyonce), but they’re both supremely unflattering.

I’m actually surprised that Jess even let this photo slip out. It’s hanging like a baggy gold sack, obscuring those curves that she loves to flaunt. Her hair looks as sad as the dress, and that’s just disappointing, because the whole thing could be giving off such a great ’20s flapper vibe.

And then there’s Beyonce. Her dress isn’t shapeless, but it’s equally as unflattering. It’s strangling her curves. In this case, even if it did fit properly, it would still be hideous.

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