Critique / Suggestion critique-suggestion : Tag Archive

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Petra’s Short, Short Dress

Did Petra Nemcova actually tuck the sides of her dress up into her panties? ‘Cause it really looks like it. Even if you’re a supermodel, you can’t will a skirt not to look absurdly short after a certain point. . . and I think this is it.

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Avoid Man-Headbands, Ashton, Please.

No one, and I do mean no one, can do the whole heandband-scarf thing right. And Ashton’s included. Perhaps he was inspired by Johnny Depp’s scarf-y look on his promotional tours, but Johnny’s was about as close to the mark as he could come, and he still missed it.

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So Many Nightmare Metallic Dresses, So Little Time

Ka-ching! Here’s two terrible, terrible metallic dresses. One was worn on Coney Island (Jessica), the other in Italy (Beyonce), but they’re both supremely unflattering.

I’m actually surprised that Jess even let this photo slip out. It’s hanging like a baggy gold sack, obscuring those curves that she loves to flaunt. Her hair looks as sad as the dress, and that’s just disappointing, because the whole thing could be giving off such a great ’20s flapper vibe.

And then there’s Beyonce. Her dress isn’t shapeless, but it’s equally as unflattering. It’s strangling her curves. In this case, even if it did fit properly, it would still be hideous.

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Jessica and Her Man Pants Party with the Pussycat Dolls

 

I feel nauseous. Don’t her legs look positively Jack Sprat-esque? Her bottom half looks shrunken and skinny next to that massive satin blazer. I’m curious about those shoes, mainly because they’re the ugliest things I’ve ever seen. Do you think they’re boots? Or worse. . . ankle boots?

Jessica probaby looked hot standing next to the Pussycat Dolls anyway.

 

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Britney Dresses Up After Toning Up

Hmmm. While I am impressed with Brit’s abs and legs, her wardrobe obviously hasn’t gotten as much attention as her bod. Look at that shirt. Should we cut her some slack? I don’t want to!

 

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Mischa Needs to Resist Some Trends

Mischa left London in her horrendous jeans this week. I really hope they were just traveling trousers and they went straight in the trash. Yeah right. She’s on a roll, people! Will you be as frightened as me if she starts wearing them regularly?

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Jennifer Lopez and Her Pants of Horror

Jennifer Lopez was in LONDON dressed like this. She’s all business on top with her black trench coat, too–like you can dress down silver bell bottoms or something? I don’t care how much money you make, it doesn’t buy you the right to wear pants like these.

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Nicky’s Dress: Good on Fit, Bad on Style

This skirt would add a hefty number of pounds to almost anyone’s hips, but that’s not my issue with it. The more I stare at it, the more I think about Michelle Kwan’s ice skating costumes from 1998 Winter Olympics. All Nicky needs is a pair of white ice skating boots. Creepy.

In terms of fit, though, Nicky’s top half of her dress does complement her shape. Satin may be unforgiving, but she’s doing her darndest to make it work.

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Mischa Gets Daring with High-Waisted Shorts

Hey, there is something worse than high-waisted pants–high-waisted shorts! If Mischa can’t even work these, then it really can’t be done. Well, maybe someone like Kate Moss can do it, but I’m feeling dubious about this trend for sure.

There is something else that is bothering me, too. How high is your self esteem if you can actually go out (at night, no less) wearing baggy, high-waisted shorts and a striped, v-neck sweater?! WOW.

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Bjork’s Interesting Rolling Stone Cover

 

All right, that’s it: where has Bjork been hiding? I guess French Rolling Stone found her, although I’m not absolutely thrilled about this cover. I’m afraid of clowns!

 

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