Okay, here’s my “in depth” analysis of the Lord of the Rings: It’s about marriage.

No, seriously, consider this: the One Ring is a gold band, much like a wedding ring. And then there’s the relationship between Sam and Frodo (one word: gay). Don’t get me started on Legalos and Gimli.

Sauron, the all-seeing eye, is obviously supposed to be the wife. Gollum is Sauron’s ex-husband (which