Calming Techniques for Girls Dating Someone Who Struggles with Depression ...

By Natalie

Many people from every walk of life suffer from depression. It’s not something you just decide to snap out of one day. It can take a range in forms of treatment, from just having someone to talk to, to needing medication. It can sometimes be tough dating someone with depression, and can put a strain on your relationship, so here are a few pointers on how to be the partner that your girlfriend or boyfriend needs.

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1

Don’t Take It Personally

At first, this may seem difficult. But when your partner is saying things like they don’t want to be here etc, they do not mean it; they just feel as though they need to escape from the situation. You also can’t take it personally when they don’t want to talk or aren’t responding in the way you would like. You need to know that it isn’t to do with you; it is a problem that they have within themselves, not within the relationship. You just need to be there to support your partner.

2

Encourage Exercise

Try not to dwell on the negative aspects of life and instead focus on positive things, such as exercise. Exercise releases endorphins, which trigger a positive feeling throughout the body. So that you aren’t directly telling your partner to be positive, you can indirectly encourage them to do it themselves and therefore they don’t feel pressured by you. Why not try doing exercise as a couple? You will associate each other with this positive feeling and it gives you time to bond.

3

Live a Healthy Lifestyle

Eating and drinking healthily really boosts your mood. You know when you have had a massive takeaway, at the beginning it is so delicious but afterwards it just leaves you feeling sick and unhealthy. Eating healthily starts from the inside out. You will have more energy and in the end you will be able to see the benefits from the outside. Who doesn’t want to improve their appearance? Maybe start introducing more fruit and veg to the fridge or go to health food restaurants with your partner.

4

Distraction is Key

I know that whenever I have a problem, I don’t want to be talking about it with everyone all the time. Even if your partner has confided in you that they won’t want this to be the topic of conversation all the time, why not tell them something funny that happened in your day? Or, maybe something silly your dog did? It doesn’t have to be anything serious. Make it lighthearted.

5

A Hug Always Helps

Hugs are proven to be good for your health. They are known for decreasing stress and increasing human bonding. So when you know your partner is having a bad day, words may not help, only a hug will.

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6

The Little Things

Even if your partner is not currently emotionally or physically available, you still can be there for them and remind them of how much you love them. You could bake or cook them their favourite foods, watch their favourite movies or TV shows. However, remember that you still need to do things for yourself, still see your friends and carry on with your hobbies. Sometimes, it may seem like they are not appreciating what you are doing, but they are more thankful than you think.

7

It’s Not a Permanent State

Even though your partner may be having a really bad day, you need to remind them that things will get better and this state is not forever, there are ways out of this state of mind. Help your partner to help themselves and be there for them.

Your most important role in this type of relationship is to be supportive and loving. That being said, you should never let yourself be treated badly or taken for granted. What are your calming tactics for dating someone with depression?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

IMO it can create a win-win cycle, I've found thru helping others cope with their depression or other situations needing support, often boosts serotonin levels, my outlook's more positive &my self-worth. This positive type of distraction pulled me out

I loved reading this! I've suffered depression my whole life, it wasn't until I was sick and tired of being sick and tired that I finally spoke up and got some help! I also turned to drugs at a young age, and I could never stay clean no matter what I did until I got my depression addressed and was working on that. It took awhile to get my meds correct, but once they were right I felt 100 times better and actually stayed clean! I have 1 year and 2 months drug free! I'm in recovery from depression and drugs. It's such a battle every single day, but I have an amazing support system and I turned to God and he has saved me! Anyways I just wanted to share a little of my story. None of us are alone, I'm praying for everyone affected by depression and/or addiction. If I can do it, so can you ladies! Love to all!

@BrittanyBAKER Thank you for sharing your story, so positive for anyone who suffers from MDD/CDD, as I do. Yes it is a daily struggle (for you & others it's complexity can't always be seen; when substance abuse has been a coping mechanism), you give Hope!

Yeah I'm pretty sure my BF has depression. I can't even really call it that because we are on a 'break' and I think that's mostly to do his depression. I want to be there for him, I always have been, but now he's just pushing me away. I miss him insanely.

@peony and @queen if they don't want to get help, you can't force them, doing so is only a waste of money and time. You can try but if they don't want help, or to get better, they won't listen to anything professional help would give them. Of course if it is gets bad enough that you think they might hurt themselves or others, take them into an emergent mental health clinic.

I know my bf didnt read this at all but he did every single thing in here to me, i love him 😭

I can't take him to a mental health clinic. That is something I can't do. He promised last time that he will not hurt himself again. @alyx

I've just found out my partner has depression

@peony blue of course it should be suggested, but as someone who has had manic depression for over 10 years now, I can tell you that all the time and money spent on therapy before I wanted to get better was a waste. I didn't listen to anything they said, and all it did was make my family frustrated, me feeling like a failure because I wasn't ready to get help, and made us spend a lot of money that could have gone towards something else. If they are wanting to go, then of course take them. But if they aren't ready, anything that is said in those sessions, helpful or not, will be forever tainted as "it didn't work" in the persons mind. This is coming from me as someone who has depression, and as someone who works in a hospital where I see lots of people who are not ready to change yet. Mental health is a fragile thing, and it's ultimately controlled by the person who has it. If they think negatively about getting better, nothing will work. They need to want it and be willing to change or it won't help a thing.

@Alyx it was a thought but getting is the beginning of the long journey. At least it can be suggested even though they might not be interested just a though one has to start somewhere I suppose

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