The situation can go either way when you risk your friend finding out that you are in love with him or with her: you can end up as a couple with a happy ending, or you can end up making things awkward for the both of you and ruin a perfectly good, platonic relationship.
So how will you know if your ‘love’ is worth risking your friendship? At the end of the day, it all depends on how strongly you feel for your friend. Use both your heart and your mind in making the decision. Can you bear the thought of losing a perfectly good friendship if you find out that your friend does not feel the same way? Once you blurt out your feelings, that will be the turning point of your relationship and your friendship – as it was before – can never be brought back. On the other hand, if your feelings are so strong that you just cannot bear the thought of your friend not knowing how you feel, then it is probably worth risking the friendship.
Whether your friend returns the romantic feelings that you have or not is a question which will be difficult to ask – but taking the risk of ruining your friendship is more acceptable than not letting your friend know how you feel. Who knows, if your friend secretly feels the same way about you, you just might be in for a happy ending.
I wouldnt risk having a romantic relationship with a friend. I couldnt sacrifice a very good friendship.
A very tricky situation indeed.
I tend to agree with telling the other person of your romantic feelings. But the relationship will never be the same, whichever way it goes.
Perhaps being prepared with an “escape” line or two, a joke or something, just in case your feelings aren’t reciprocated, might be handy.
friends can come and go……but love stays forever.
i believe that love has no boundations or limitations but friendship has some limitations , i hav a very good friend , i am a man aged 23, i hav been talking to her since one and a half months now , i hav already proposed to her twice , but she said that she does not want this relation now , she considers me a very good person and a very close friend , actually she had an affair 6 months back for bout 1 and a half yr. , now i hav given her time , i am quiet suppotive wid her , but i am desperate to hav a relation of love wid her , i am quiet serious , how uch time i shud give her to understand my feelings , she is saying that currently she has no feeling for me , for future she has no reply , wat shud i do ???
When im around her i cant help but smile, i look at her when she isnt looking and just think how beautiful she is and how all i want to do is tell her i love her.
I cant take secretly loving her anymore, the constant dreams about being with her are drivin me crazy. I just dont know if i can risk losing her altogether, I would no longer have that occasional text that brings all the memories flooding back and makes that smile appear that no one else could. I would no longer have that hope that maybe someday I might have her again.
I dont know what to do, im only happy when im around her – cant she tell?
What if she says no? I dont want anyone else, to me she is my one, my only :-(.
to Jamie:
Awe… that all sounds so romantic… Do you have a mutual friend who could help you find out how she feels about you?
I just did this, today actually.
I’ve tried for so long to convince myself that I should not be into her. But i’m absolutely head over heels for her. I was 100% sure that she was keen too (i’m sure i wasn’t being diluted).
So i sent a text message to my friend explaining my feelings. (Which was an amazing feeling to know that it was finally out in the open and i would be getting a resolution).
I received a reply to the effect of “i love you lots but i don’t want to ruin a friendship”. It didn’t turn out the way i’d wanted but we are still friends (i hope).
At the moment I feel like i may have scared off the most precious friend.
I think it can go two ways from here:
- we will become increasing awkward and avoid each other.
- or from voicing my feelings, i’ve cleared a burden between us and will go on to reach a new level of friendship.
If things are cool this time next week then i’ll be happy.
to William:
Hmm, that’s an interesting response… Well, know she likes you a lot as a friend and if so, you already planted the “seed” in her head about how you feel about her, which is good. Now you just need to act cool as if nothing happened and 99 out of 100 she’ll try to get more confessions out of you, especially if you act as if nothing happened. If you act that way and give her some space, she might actually make herself fall in love with you.
My first boyfriend was my good friend. And then, out of the blue he said he loved me. Which first kind of scared me off, but then, when he was acting as if nothing happened I started to think about the two of us and when I saw other girls coming up to him, out of jealousy, I guess, I myself started the talk about love and friendship and dating until I made it clear I wanted to start dating. So, he did ask me out and during the first couple of weeks I was crazy in love with him. We dated for good 3 years until life drove us apart, but it was really sweet :)
So, I guess you do have great chances to be with the person you love if you act cool and let this idea settle in her mind.
Good luck, keep us posted!
Olga
Thanks heaps for your help Olga! It’s just what i needed to hear. Such a therapeutic blog.
We met up the other day. We were both so anxious, we could barely make eye contact. It was still fun and all that. There was pretty much zero flirting going on. We didn’t talk about it at all, but i really wanna know what she’s thinking about it.
Oh well i feel queezy about it all. Still, i’m glad its out in the open and she knows clearly how i feel. Such an interesting time for me :)
to William:
I am glad you are in a good place now :))
I know you said you want to know what she thinks about everything, but I assure you, she DOES think about the two of you, so just give her some time :))
Gosh, it’s so exciting! :)) I hope you two get together very soon :) Good luck!