Comments on: 10 Obvious Signs of Cheating … Is He a Cheater?

By: Sheila

Sheila — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 18:46:40 +0000

Hi Missy,
I’m so so sorry to hear about your cheating husband. It really sucks. I know that nothing anyone says makes it better but I hope you know that the pain will go away eventually. Time heals and you are so much more better without him. Although I have to say that generalizing your situation and saying that all policemen will cheat is not right, especially advising your daughters against marrying them. Anyone can endup cheating irrespective of their profession. Be strong love. And remember that we’re all here for you :) *big hugs*

By: Missy

Missy — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 14:00:56 +0000

My husband is a police officer. It’s said that 80% of cops cheat and I thought my husband wouldn’t be one of them. I think the other 20% lie about it. If you are married to a police officer, they are cheating when they should be working. I am beginning to think all of the 15 years I’ve supported my husbands work was a joke. As he was earning a living, he was cheating me out of a future with someone who’d remain faithful. I’ve got daughters and plan to advise them to NOT marry police officers under any circumstances. They are miserable, verbally abusive and cheating spouses. No matter what they say and no matter how wonderful they seem to others. I could have had a life without being worried for my husband’s safety so much and could have had a life with someone who was as honorable to me as he is to the city he protects. Overtime, schmovertime. When they work overtime, they see their ‘girl’ there. Trust me. They plan it so they can “work together” extra. I need a friend to help me through this and have no one. He has alienated everyone from my life. deflepp123@yahoo.com

By: Sheila

Sheila — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 12:35:05 +0000

Abigail,
I’m totally with you on that. You’re always always stronger than what you think you are. It may seem like the hardest thing to let him go but with time, you’ll realise that it was the best thing to do.

By: abigail ccoper

abigail ccoper — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 04:07:02 +0000

let him go. u are more stronger than u think it may hurt really bad but sometime u just have to give him his time.And u will see he will come back only to find u more happy than u have ever been in a long time.

By: Sheila

Sheila — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 04:55:41 +0000

Bonnie,
I know it gets more complicated with a situation like yours where the two of you have just had a baby and stuff but I’m still going to say the same thing that I tell everyone who writes to us. If he can’t respect you (especially considering the two of you just became parents), I don’t see why you should be with him! Having said that, you also need to be sure that he is infact cheating on you. He could be harmlessly flirting with this chick from office and if it is just that, you two can work through it. Tell him you read those messages and see what he says….

By: Bonnie Halcrow

Bonnie Halcrow — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 03:43:36 +0000

hi i’ve been with my boyfriend of 2 years,i’ve been suspicious of him cheating for the past 4 months but he keeps giving me excuses…working overtime more,more phonecalls on his cell,less time together,and no more intimacy.I had a dream of him cheating on me with this other chick,and i woke up and asked him if he was cheating,he says:”if i were cheating i’d tell you” so he forgot his cellphone before i left for work…and i went through his text messages and found some woman he’s been texting saying”hey beautiful”"you want to get a coffee sometime?”some chick from work likes him and he said he would never mess around or cheat on me, but he’s texting her from his cellphone…i just had his baby 5 months ago,and i just don’t know what to do? i just had a panic attack upon discovering these text messages,and i’m so stressed out and ready to freak out on him and leave…
i need some advice can you help me,do i stay or do i go?

By: Sheila

Sheila — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:45:11 +0000

Brenlee,
I’m so sorry about your situation. If you ask me, no trust cannot be restored. If my man cheated on me and I agreed to give him a second chance, I would still not be able to trust him completely even if he’s really changed for the better. The relationship just isn’t the same again. I know of few relationships that have made it through successfully after one of the partners cheated. Whatever your decision, think it through. And put your happiness first. Everything else will fall into place. Good luck and be strong!

By: brenlee

brenlee — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 13:25:31 +0000

benn together for almost 9 years we have a 4 year old boy and he also has 14 old boy my stepson for the last 8 years……….thought he was my soulmate we were happy i did everything i thought he wanted ive gotten a lil chunky 5′6 170 pounds mabey my stamina in the bedroom is lacking i thought i was pretty good igive great blowjobs and watched lots of porn, but still he cheated,i got him to admit to it i pretended i already knew something ive never done before he was fully free no checking stuff,no questions no dirty looks or accusations never, i trusted him with my life my soul my body i trusted him and now i dont hes says he wants me back, why should i believe, can trust be restored, mabey he was to free,

By: Sheila

Sheila — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 06:24:53 +0000

SS,
You can’t really conclude that he’s cheating because of one random episode. So let’s look at this objectively. He ignores you a lot. There’s been little to no sex in the past 6 years. But apart from today’s episode, have there been other instances where he goes missing or remains unreachable for many hours? Maybe he’s just depressed with his life. Maybe you both need counselling. Just because he’s distant doesn’t mean he’s cheating. What you need to do is try and talk to him before trying to catch him cheating.
But if you still want to go ahead, let me tell you what I would do. I would spy my ass off. His computer (history, emails, social netowrking sites), cellphone (messages and phonecalls)… I wouldn’t go to the extend of following him around but I remember reading that in a book. This woman suspects her husband of cheating on her. So she and her best friend hire a car and follow him around till they catch him red handed. Give him surprises. Say you’re going out to do something. But return early. See if that catches him offguard. Alright I’m out :) Just remember that your instinct is your best friend in these situations. Good luck and keep us posted.
xoxo

By: SS

SS — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 02:47:49 +0000

My husband acts really weird. Here it is Halloween night. First of all he ignores me all the time. He stays on the computer, playing poker and sometimes I have even caught him looking at porn. Nothing has went on here since our child was born in ‘03. He is a diabetic and says he can’t do anything. Well tonite, when we get back from Trick or Treating, his car is gone, he says he had only been gone 10 minutes, then he says he gets halfway to his job and they call him and tell him that whatever was torn up got fixed. I think it’s a likely story. I need some insight here. I need to know how to catch him if he is cheating! The bad part is I have a 6 year old child and no job to support us with.

By: Sheila

Sheila — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 09:00:37 +0000

Raelisha,
Unless he has a really good reason for crawling through a bedroom window, leave him and flee! Hopefully you have spoken to him by now and hopefully he’s admitted to having cheated on you. I don’t see any other explanation for his behaviour. ANd like you said, you may love him but once a cheater always a cheater! You canot be with him….not after he’s put you through this. Thank your stars that you found out now rather than later. Good luck with him sweetheart. I hope you find the strength to do the right thing.

By: Raelisha

Raelisha — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 07:25:29 +0000

My boyfriend and i have be together for a year and 5 months. Just recently we moved in together and started talking a bout a family. Abut two months after we were all moved in I started reciving phone calls from a lady who says she use to be with my boyfriend and says whenever she calls him he comes over. I told her things had changed and we were in love. So two weeks later we drive down to the city to vist friends and family members. He tells me he’s gonna stay down in the city for a couple days. He knows i cant stay because i have to go to work. I pay all the bills in our home. So I figured it would be cool to get some alone time to my self. He stayed in the city all week. When the weekend came around i decided to surprise him and drive down to the city. When i arrived he made a whole big scene asking me why i was here, dont i have to work, i dont have any reasons being down here and so on. I was really up set and hurt because we’re nrver apart and for us to not have seen eachother all week was just hard for me. We ended up talking for 5 minutes and we both went a did our own thing it was friday night he was with his “guy friends” and i was with my girls. So i wanted to worry him a lil bit by staying out till 3 am. We gave eachother i set time to curfew when not with eachother. When i got home to my mothers house (where we stay when we in the cityP he was not there s o waited up and waited uo for almost 3 hours he never came home till the next day at 11 am. I didnt want to look at him touch him nothing and i was still sleepy from waiting up all night. We didnt talk that whole day. Later that day i left with my sisters to hang out i came back to my mothers it was almost 10 pm and he was not there and once agian he didnt come home till 11 am. Only this time i was there to catch him. My oldest sister went into labor at 430 am and he wasnt home when i left to the hospital. A neighboor caught him crawling through one of the bed room windows. Im waiting for him as i write this to talk to him but im not sure if whats going on edvidence on cheating. I’m very much in love with him we live together and that was a big step for me. We even be shopping around for wedding rings. I dont want my relationship to end but i dont want to be with a cheater. Please give me some advice on what to do!

By: Sheila

Sheila — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 04:57:12 +0000

Madeleine,
Your instinct is always always your best friend. The only problem is we don’t always listen to it because we’re afraid of what we might find out. I hope that guy is out of your life now ….

By: madeleine

madeleine — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 12:40:38 +0000

my god, it’s so obvious now! i found out about the cheating after 6 months of being with him and now i remember that i kept dismissing these kind of signs all along. girls always trust your instincts! jesus christ, what a prick he was.

By: Sheila

Sheila — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 10:43:00 +0000

Mommyof4,
I’ve always thought that men need a little “alone time” because that’s just them I guess. But I would restrict it to ocassional porn. The fact that he’s addicted to it and talking dirty to other women online and all of that is definitely NOT acceptable. He needs to be there for you now more than ever! Even if he’s afraid of physically hurting you and doesn’t want to have sex, he should respect you enough to not go out there looking. I am no expert but you both need some serious counselling! You should refuse to put up with his behaviour. It’s unacceptable and sad.

By: mommyof4

mommyof4 — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 00:19:20 +0000

My husband and I have been married for 2 years. I had 2 girls before we got married. We had a little boy last year that didn’t make it thru pregnancy. We are pregnant right now with a little girl. 35 weeks actually. I understand that he doesn’t want to physically hurt me and he’s scared about the miscarriage that we had last year, but we have had no problems with this pregnancy. He has an addiction to porn and every time I find it on the search bar online he doesn’t deny it. I even changed the password to the computer and he kept trying to figure it out. Finally he did. I cry every time because it upsets me so much that he doesn’t have the respect that I think he should for me. He just says that he loves me and only me and doesn’t want to be with anyone else. This happened last year too. Only then, he was actually having dirty conversations with girls online. We were separated for months and have gone thru marriage counseling for a year now. If this only happened while I was pregnant, I would understand that maybe he doesn’t find me attractive and this weight…but his past girlfriends weighed more than I do now. I just don’t understand why he would want to look at that stuff when pregnant or not, I constantly throw myself at him. He got me pregnant, so why all of a sudden am I a huge turn-off? Please help me.

By: Sheila

Sheila — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 23:09:08 +0000

Hey Marsha,

I’m sorry sweetheart but I think your boyfriend is a little bit of a jerk. If you ask me, he most definitely is cheating. I am never one to believe that people can change. Once a cheater. Always a cheater. And i know you’d rather not know the truth but part of why you’re afraid to ask him is because you already know the answer. Please confront him. For your sake…for the sake of your baby and your future.

By: marsha

marsha — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 07:27:30 +0000

I am pregnant–due next month and my boyfriend and i are very excited. Well, my concern is that–i have a gut feeling that he’s cheating. the feeling has gotten lighter because he’s done this before. i feel like it’s expected. I have not confronted im of this. Nonetheless, i have confronted him on his past infedilities. He had a dating profile on adult friend finder, an ad on craigslist, and one on sexsearch .com. This all happened earlier this year up until july/ I have confronted him on all accounts and he has denied them all. now–i give him his space, so i would not stress and track his every move. it draines me. I work really odd hours and he is in school online which gives him reasons to be on the computer. when i’m sleeping, he gets up and go to the computer or while i’m sleeping he leaves and says he’s checking his mailbox. we live together and he have another mailbox. i am so afraid of confronting him because i’m think i may be right and don’t know what i’ll do. what do you guys think—-is he cheating.

By: Sheila

Sheila — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 22:38:28 +0000

Camilla,
You need to get out of that relationship NOW! Since when is it okay to go out partying with strangers and not come home till the next day? If your instinct says he’s cheating on you, he probably is! And even if he isn’t, I don’t think you should be with him. He doesn’t seem to have much respect for you. That’s just me…

By: camilla

camilla — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 22:39:30 +0000

Im currently in a relationship and suspect my boyfriend might be cheating. What worries me is that I can’t seem to shake off this feeling. He asks women out under the pretext of ‘business’. When i ask him about he say its just business, but he hardly knows these women let alone their career paths to be discussing business with him. Then he takes out other women for lunch and partying and only comes home the next day…