I'm so happy to see that people are finally understanding that slut shaming is a ridiculous phenomenon that needs to end. Shaming a woman for her sex life or sexuality, something we, as human beings have had since the beginning is one of the most disgusting thing we as a society have ever allowed to happen. I'm only 14, I was called a "slut from candyland" during a halloween dance when I was 11. But the funny part was, was that the guy couldn't even say it to my face, he literally asked his friend to come over and tell me. If I could go back in time to that moment, I would've asked his friend who APPARENTLY didn't want to offend me to personally escort me to this coward and have him say it to my face. Remember ladies, you're not a slut because you like sex, you're a slut because your sexuality scares others. And that's their problem, not yours.
I agree with women always seeming like they have to have the competitive edge with other women its like everything always is a competition. I hate it because I always feel like women automatically write me off as a bitch but if they got to know me they would see I'm nice, sweet and could be an amazing friend. I know I've been guilty of doing the same but I've tried to learn "you can't judge a book by it's cover" it's the same with people just because they look one way on the outside doesn't mean that's how they truly are on the inside try to get to know them before you write them off!!!
I love this article, it's exactly the type of notice people need to under stand. Not too long ago, it seemed I always was with the bad group, they would say bad things about other girls on our class, and it was only middle school!! So I would tell the girls being "shamed" what these girls were saying about them and not to trust them. When the "shaming" girls found out I didn't agree with them they were furious! For those of you who know Mean Girls the movie, my friends made something like the Burn Book that was in the movie. Everyone had something written about them. After that guess what they wrote about me; I was a "lying bitch that couldn't keep a secret" just because I didn't agree with them and because I wanted to warn other girls.
The worst kinda example I can think of tht drives me bonkers is the team Jen/team Angelina crap that STILL goes on today
Remind me why the man with the vows never got a 1/10 of the flake and hatred these women did
Thanks for this article!
I'm so happy to see the 'shaming of shaming' running around the Internet. Ladies (and men) we need to stick together. It's hard to feel secure with yourself as just yourself with media throwing images of how we should look/act/feel every which way you turn. This isn't about staying out of each others business and going our own way. Wouldn't that be depressing if everyone just stopped caring lest we stepped on someone's toes? This is about being supportive of each other and compassionate. Reach out! Love each other. Be there for each other. And for the love of Pete stop trying to compete with each other! Throw those stereotypes out the window and hold hands ladies, it'll be a bumpy ride. =)
@Emily @ Sammy I do not condone mistreating anyone for their personal choices and Yes, it's a terrible double standard. My stand is, it's yours to do as you please. What I don't see is how having an opinion is so wrong. More so than the behavior that brings the "shaming" If nothing else, I thought everyone was entitled to his or her opinion.
Sucks when I hear my friends bash about other girls they don't know and I'm the one who thinks.... Well I'm kinda like her that's like bashing about me implied.
Very inspiring article. I have been on both ends, in all honesty, and I'm so glad someone has decided to call me on it and make me remember that us women should be supporting each other! You're beautiful!
@Brisa Watler if a woman wants to have sex with a number of men, let her, it's no one's business but hers. So, if you kept you're nose out of others business, it wouldn't bother you
Slut is such an overused term today it's getting ridiculous. If I ever called a guy a slut to put him in his place he'd say was that suppose to offend me? Why do women NEED some sort if reason to shame each other. I've seen my bf comment on a friends behavior like that's not a good idea or why do you do that. But never as a guy I've seen verbally assault another man using a label like 'whore', 'slut', 'tramp'. He always says that's their personal life and doesn't make him any less a person. That surprises me so much how women are the total opposite. The only words that come to mind for men equivalent of slut is bachelor, player? Is it as bad? Is it as negative? Stop perpetuating stereotypes and accepting double standards. I'm just as much a person as a man and I give that same respect to women. They have their own reasons for why they do what they do in their personal life.
@Brisa Watler calling women sluts for being sexually active and flaunting their sexuality is basically shaming them for acting on the same sexual freedoms that men have. It's obviously sexist. Why can men sleep with whoever they want without some type of shaming in society? It's a double standard, and it's complete and utter bullshit. Also this whole idea of sluts perpetuates rape culture. A lot of people in society think if a girl has been a 'slut' in the past or if she was wearing 'slutty' clothes, she was asking for it. All because we're made to disrespect women who enjoy having sex. Ridiculous.
I liked the article, mostly. I'm having a hard time understanding the negative condemnation towards this "slut-shaming" Since when is it OK to be a slut? It is NOT ok to go around judging others, it's not one's place to do so. That said, has our culture been so corrupted that it is now perfectly fine for women to go around flaunting their whorish immoral behavior but don't anyone point a finger at them! It's more wrong to be disgusted by whores than to be a whore? When were all of our morals put to death? I have little sisters and I'll be damned if they were to ever act like sluts and not get put in check!! What is our country coming to?
@Jennifer I absolutely agree with you!! There could be times, though, that a woman is going through a depression...something horrible could've happened to her and as a result she doesn't care much about her clothes...Sometimes this is a long lasting condition. It's not easy to put ourselves in others' shoes, especially when we don't know in detail what they're going through.
This article is so true women should respect women no what where you are coming from. Treat others how you want to be treated. I live in a Muslim country (not saying name) and the hate they have for other women from other countries is really sad and scary. I dress appropriate and I respect the country and act appropriate too. I get hackled, laughed at, ripped off , waited on last and stared down. The funny thing is I know the language and exactly what they are saying when they say no english when they do and laugh about it in their language. So writing all this I completely agree because I experience this negativity everyday living here.
A fitness instructor called his clients fat to their face, to give them motivation to keep going on with the workout. They actually thanked him in the end. The worst thing about bitchiness is when it is all behind your back and you don't know what you've done wrong or how you can resolve it other than to ignore them. If your going to say something, have the balls to say it to their face, otherwise don't say anything!
I could care less what women wear, what their sexuality is, or size. I will however judge a woman who puts no effort into herself. Hopefully that isn't misinterpreted. I don't mean heels and make up. If you're a natural beauty, flaunt it! But I can't understand women in dirty wrinkles clothes who look like they just don't care. I can't hate on a woman who puts value into herself =)
Thanks for the article. We can have our opinions and values, but we also need to always remember to be KIND. We need to do our best to love each other as humans first, women second. And love has no room for negative judgement.
I really all boils down to people being far too concerned with what other people are doing. Folks could save themselves a lot of time (because nobody ever has enough time these days) by worrying less about what others are up to and more about their own goings-on.
@Erin McCune Clothes don't correspond with the amount of respect a person has for themselves. The girl wearing a mini skirt and a crop top can have just as much self respect as the girl in jeans and a turtle neck. I believe, if you truly do respect yourself, you'd dress to make yourself happy and not for anyone else. But then again everyone's in everyone else's business these days and everyone's judgmental so no matter how you dress you can't ever really win.
I don't agree with the clothing part. If you respect your body you wouldn't wear overly revealing cloths. In that sense I DO believe cloths define a person. If you wear cloths that show no respect for yourself how do you expect others to respect you?
I have been on the receiving end as well as engaging in that awful behavior. I always felt terrible when I judged another woman. I do not do it that much anymore-- if at all. I do not like being around anyone who starts putting me down. I used to buy into what someone would say about me, but now I just believe that they are the one with issues.
It's sad that we don't encourage each other , it's insecure women who hate secure women , no matter age, weight , race , career we should support one another. Men already put beat us down do we need to help them ?