I ain't transparent to him because he wants to know every single thing about me and I think I have my own personal life..And when I lie..He's like either you end this relationship or pay me if you wanna be with me..When I deny he says..if you don't pay I'm gonna harm you and your family..Because of that I have to pay him but he has this habit of doubting every time..His assumption and restrictions are the worst. He didn't let me attend my cousins wedding. He doesn't let me step out of my place after 10 in night. I have to ask him for every single thing. And then abuses me
My boyfriend (now ex) thinks his not good enough me and he keeps telling me that I deserve a man that will treat me well and love me like he did , lately he has been going through a lot of (excuse my language) crap in his life
There's a guy that i have been texting for a few weeks now, and he is in one grade higher than me and goes to the same school. I feel like he is going to use me, he hasnt really tried to get to know the real me.
@joan,Yes Joan, he might love you but that doesn't give him the right to treat you that manner. i will advice you take a break from him or you seat him down and make it clear to him to get it right. you are not a fool in this situation, some men are very lasy and its please them to used a hard working lady as their tools. My dear, this is 2017, say no to lady men seating at home and doing nothing all in the name of sickness. if you want my help and need more testimony on issues like this. get in touch with me; thomas13@net-c.com and we will talk on phone.
I have a guy that I really like and we've been "together" for 4 days now so far. But yesterday, and today, he sees me yet NEVER goes to walk with me, hugs me, anything. Now he hardly replies to me. I won't take that into deep account, for I know that people become busy. But I don't know whether to answer yes or no to the "are you single" question.
Regain self control and stop sending messages. The standard rule is two or three at the most. After that you might appear annoying or be called a crazy stalker. ignoring someone intentionally spells disaster this early on in a relationship. Let him go.
I and my boyfriend were meant to be forever but he met another girl at his work place. She did everything to break us apart B'cos she was younger and attractive, and finally my boyfriend moved in with her. I tried few cheap spells but to no avail then I ordered the most powerful love spell from robinsonbuckler@yahoo. com and I don't regret it! i and my boyfriend are back together and happier than ever. if you are heart broken and you want your lover back contact this spell caster Robinson, he is A top spell caster of the season, he has such a perfect view on love spells that I believe he can solve any case given to him. I recommend his love spell to couples in need of help. Use his services
Chloe DWAYNE
Hi @Daniela Perez, I think I can say that at one time or another we have all fell victim to this treatment from a man. Men go through this too but what you can't allow to happen is distrusting everyone because of how one person (or even a dozen people) treated you. To me that gives them more power than they deserve to have. It's like bringing him with you everywhere you go for years to come. If you want to have a clean slate with someone new you have to give them the same clean slate. There isn't anything more uneasy than meeting someone who fits you that you have to prove to everyday that you're nothing like the last person. That takes time away from other things you could be doing to create a healthy relationship. If you’re unsure about trusting people in your life just yet, don’t involve anyone until you know you’re ready.
If he's "homeless" leave him where you found him because chances are he's only with you because he has nowhere to go. I know this sounds quite harsh but there are people who survive by using others. They have creatively found ways to live off people emotions by knowing who to target & exactly what to say & when. If he doesn't want to keep seeing you outside of your home he's not worth seeing at all.
@LoveKitty17, if he homes then he would be either using u for money or he would have no choice but to let you pay.. I referring this to a homeless man who has never been arrested in the US.
jesus, reading the comments on here makes me cringe. some of you women are putting the rest of us 2 shame! dont get me wrong I bitch bout my boyfriend quite alot when hes bein a dick (being male this is a regular occurance) but I no he gets equally pissed off with me when im bein a complete bitch (being female quite a common occurence). at the end of the day if you truly love eachother and are emotionally as well as physically connected then it surely it must be worth it? I love my boyfriend 2 death, including his flaws and I wouldnt change him 4 the world xx
Women are the worst culprits of all that's in this I've had a few and been too stupid I used to makes a lot money and have nothing to show for it because I was paying for someone else's way it's actually really sexist this just being about guys doing it also I'm highly aware that men do it as well but as far as equal rights go women are at least just as bad the way I look at it is if your stupid enough to be used like that clearly you have no right to bitch and complain I know I don't but it's insulting that everyone seems to think that only men do it also its not using someone it's emotional abuse there rant over just wanted you women to at least acknowledge that you can't blame men for everything it even says that apparently he's using you if he blames you for everything wrong in his life but as I said if your stupid enough you've only got yourself to blame for not kicking his ass out as soon as any of that behaviour starts
Hii everyone! There's that guy that i like and he does too, but every time we talk on the phone(text messages) there's nothing to talk about and i'd like to become much close to him but i dont know how, any tips/advices please?
@Summer why don't you try to talk to him about this? Like at night he will be available i guess, text him and say "hey, how are you?" then ask him why did he changed? What went wrong? Don't be shy take the courage to ask him and if he seems not interested or he sees the message and doesn't reply, well its time to move on!
I agree with what I just read but what if he wasn't like that. What if he did the opposite from it but still hurt you! He was nice, he listen to me when I was sad, he will always spend money on me and still looked at you like he loved you! When in reality he just broke my heart into pieces and told me it was over because college was just too much for him and a relationship was even more overwhelming in his life. But then a month later he ends up dating someone else and then you find out that while he was with you and did have time because you were away that he was sleeping with a good friend of yours.! What would you call that? I did everything he asked me to do and I believed and trusted him but now I have a hard time trusting and believing
I've been dating this person for nearly 2 months now
He lives up the road from me&we go to the same collage. He asked me to meet up with,so I did, we became close since then.we got off off and then he finally asked me out after he walked me home from collage. Now he's just ignoring me. He's seeing skl my messages but won't reply. I've sent 22. He's replied 2 times. What do I do? X
Totally went through this and just let it happen. Wish I wasn't so stupid.
Heather
Hi! I would definitely say that it is not you, it is him. He did use you it sounds like and I'm so sorry that he did. I'd cut off some communication with him hun and really find someone that is worth it. :(
hi everyone i have a question, open to any answers.. i dated this guy back in middle school from what i thought we were madly in love with eachother. 4 years go by i gained a bit of weight and we found eachother on facebook we always tells me to go over his house, at first i would refuse then i went one time and we had sex and it felt like we really connected after that i kept texting him and he always says " he is busy " and everytime i asked him how he feels about me now, he always avoids it or says he is confused? am i just just his bootycall or might he just really be confused about us or maybe my weight gain is affecting him? i did gain a bit of weight.. its hard i dont know what to think anymore please any advice?
I am married and am in a situation where i DO EVERYTHING for my man even till now. we share a baby together but only do everything related to her, he provides finance majority but i put in too coz i have no job but i have this small online page i earn through. we been married for 3 years am not complaining that i want stuff but i've never gotten anything, not for a birthday , not for a special ocassion never but i spend all my money on the kid and him. I KNOW AM GETTING USED, MY MESSAGE IS
WOMAN DO IT OUT OF LOVE, MEN SEE IT AS A WEAKNESS THAT THE WOMAN DOES THIS TO KEEP HIM TO HERSELF WHICH IS NOT TRUE. HOW DO I KNOW? My husband told me had I not being so caring may be he would have loved me more. i dont know what kind of mind frame that is, but my point is AS WOMAN WE HAVE A CHOICE TO DO OR NOT TO DO. I STILL CHOSE TO DO TILL MY HEARTS SAYS ENOUGH. But as woman know the situation and help and be nice dont make it look to the man like he succeeded in using u and getting away.
Some men appreciate such great qualities in a woman, they who know love, most dont, then we've just made the rong choice, its not easy to leave them and walk away but sooner or later we will feel we cannot do it anymore :)
Hi Anon! I definitely think that you should give him a chance. That way you can find out if he has changed. Just remember, keep your emotions distant and don't get too involved.
Anonymous
Hi Heather, I have a question. In the fall I started going out with a guy I'd liked for over a year. We were really good friends first, but then after a few weeks I found out that when he said he needed time to get over his ex, he was trying to get other girls to go out with him. We haven't really talked much since then until tonight when he texted me and asked me to hang out with him so he could show me that he's sorry and he's changed. I really care about him and I want to give him a chance to prove himself, but I don't want to end up feeling like an idiot again. Do you think I should give him a chance?
Heather
Mm, that's a great tip! :)
Jennifer
I think whomever initiated the date should pay!!!
Heather
This is great advice! Thanks so much for that Mary and keep reading!
Mary
I believe that all men are not born with special characteristic that makes him genuine a true gentleman who knows how to treat women with love & respect are characteristics your born with and comes natural so to all you ladies out there reading if something doesnt feel right dont stick around waiting for the impossible to happen women are special so dont ever settle for less. a man who loves unconditionally , who gives from his heart & puts his girl on a pedals tool will keep his lady very happy & satisfied in & out of bed true love & respect go hand in hand you can't have one without the other it will never work thanks for reading
mk
Put an S in front of the He
Heather
Hi! I don't think that is necessarily true, I do think that there are times when you do need to have splitting in the relationship and things should be equal. I think that honestly, a guy that does not bring anything to the table at all is a user. :)
Cam
"What's yours is mine. And what's mine is mine too." This is incredibly sexist. If women don't want to be discriminated against, they need to stop being so sexist themselves.
Typical
So if a man begins to act like the average female, then you need to break up with them immediately! Remember ladies, only you have the right to be the mooch in the relationship! What's the man going to do, threaten you with no sex? Puh-leez! That's your role! Remember, a relationship is only worth having if you can benefit financially from it!
Heather
Aww! Too funny! I wouldn't necessarily say that all of the time, because I think things should be split evenly, most of the time, but that's funny!
Heather
Hi Francis! Thanks for the comment! :) Agreed, first date they should pay, after that it can be split. :)
francis
the guy should pay for the first time bt let not say only men to pay for everything. 50/50.
Becky
What kind of guys are this women dating? His money is ours, my money is MINE
Heather
Hi John! I do definitely see how that can be frustrating and I get your point now, but I don't think that every female is a serial dater, just like I don't think that every man is a cheater. I think that if you make the date something affordable, not dinner, just drinks or even just coffee in the beginning, it can be easy to save money -- while still seeing if the girl is a serial dater. :)
john
In NYC I've met the serial daters and figured out they had a different guy buying them dinner a few nights a week. Its expensive to date. And its hard for a guy to figure out if you like him or not or just using him. So from a guys POV who has dated a lot I'm more inclined to pay for dates later on vs upfront b/c upfront I'm also trying to figure if I like the girl enough to see her again also. Dinners can be upwards of $80 etc. That's a lot of $ for an exploratory date that likely won't end in marriage etc. Have to kiss a lot of frogs etc is the saying. So with the introduction of online dating and internet etc there is less and less up front due diligence / in person interaction. So it may not be that he's not into you he just may be skeptical or used to getting burned by female serial daters. Split the bill, keep everything casual so no feelings of getting taken advantage of on either side of the table. Unfortunately a lot of females abuse the "men should pay" cultural expectation which leads to long responses like this : ) trying to explain the other side pov frustration
Heather
Hi John! I do not agree, this is just my personal opinion, but I think that when a guy is asking a girl out and asking her to accompany him on a date, he should pay for that date. While yes, women are constantly seeking to be equal, there are other ways to be equal. I am not saying the guy should pay all of the time, that isn't the point, but the first date at the very least? Yes, I believe he should pay.
john
Heather...if women are taking men's seats on mass transportation, men's seats in college, men's jobs, men's promotions etc etc they can also pay for the first date. And the second. They are educated and have jobs. What's wrong with using their credit card hand? It seems to work just fine at the shoe store!
Heather
Hi Nini! Thanks for the great comment! It's so true, there are lots of other ways to know that a guy is using you, not just the financial stuff. :)
Nini
Seem like most of these comments are only about the financial issues and while I agree times are tough and that its ok to share expenses in relationship thats not all this list was about. I know several women that just don't get that they are being used by someone. Hell I've been guilty of it myself. I have since learned that if you lay down and let someone walk all over you they will until someone else comes along then they will whipe their shitty feet all over you and move on to the next rug. Leaving you broke, broken hearted and smelling like shit!
Heather
Hi Craig! I actually think it boils down to manners. I do agree that women should be equal, but I also think that there are just mannerisms that have been built over decades and one of them is the man pays for the first couple dates. I know that it has changed radically over the years, where a lot of the times, the woman would pay for herself, but in my personal opinion, I think for at least the first two dates (the first one being drinks maybe and the second one being dinner) should be paid for by the man. For me? I am in a lesbian relationship, so in my relationship, we split a lot more things, but when my girlfriend and I first started dating, I paid for the first few dates, then we started splitting things as we got more comfortable. I think it boils down to personal choice, but honestly, most women agree that the men should pay, at least in the beginning.
Craig
Hi Heather, I am interested to hear WHY you think that, in this day and age, a man should pay for the first couple of dates, when for decades, if not longer, women have been seeking equality.
Heather
Aww, I don't know about that!
Heather
Hi Craig! I'd say for the first couple date -- he should pay, once you get into a comfortable relationship, that's when you start splitting things. :)
Heather
Hi Judes! It was written for the younger generation, but I think that everyone can benefit from it! :)
Craig
"Even though the guy is supposed to pay"
Seriously?
Judes
Was this article written for a 15 year old? It's like a pop-up book of generalizations.
Mark
Sounds like marriage from a males point of view!
Heather
Hi Terry! What was that? You -- ate his wallet?
Heather
Hi Thatcher! I do definitely agree that if you reverse the article, it sounds like a common relationship, but truthfully, I do think that everything should be split at least 50/50 most of the time -- if not, why be in a relationship if you are always the giver or always the taker? I've seen guys that use a girl in this way before, they use her for everything that she is worth and then leave her for the next girl -- it's not right. I've also seen girls do the exact same thing and that isn't right either. Thanks for the great comment and for the insight!
Thatcher's
Reverse the sexes in your article a sec and read it back. Sounds a lot more common relationship than the way you have it. Also what is wrong with a relationship where one partner is financially dependant on the other? Often it can be a lot smarter for partners to specialise in providing something to the relationship, play to their strengths, instead of having everything split 50/50 effort down the middle. It might not fit into the conformist modern picture of an ideal relationship ideal that rags like this and other liberal wonks like to portray as something everybody should aspire to. It requires thinking and working it out for yourselves. That's one of the joys of life. Go out and live it.
Hi Les! That isn't exactly what the article is saying, I'm all for sticking by your partner when they are down, but a lot of guys will take advantage of a girl that is sticking by her man, these are just tips to spot those guys. :)
Les
So if you learn to know a man, who sits in a hard situation with his life, and can not focus totally he is a what? Because by the means of this articel, he is a bum, a loser,a no life, not carring and all those stuff with it.
My girl and i had the same problem because i was studying, had no money, nothing.
The girl stand by my side all the way, and always sad to me i k ow things are gonna be better when you done, you can do things for me when your working,
In some way i scored at every, but she showed compassion and thurst
I think the world can more of that, rather then striving to perfection, and live to what other want