LDR since 2015 seen each other twice,bit more than a week in total. Started off great, super chemistry until we got to the point where I was out of job and couldn't afford to visit. He'd be angry and say I was lazy and dumb(whereas I was having a depression and having suicidal thoughts again after some good month without and could barely get out of bed). My doubt is huge since I last spoke to him. He would always be the one calling, even several times in a row but now it's on me. I made the big mistake of texting 2 msg's in a unanswered then 4 more about something important and now I'm very anxious. A week ago he was saying how he loves my body but few days after I said I still love you all he answered was something about a present I got him.
Point 1,2,4,5,8,9,10,11,12,21,24,27 were totally true for me. My LDR lasted 9 months, and my boyfriend broke up with me 3 days ago. We have different citizenship and live in in different countries. The issue was that feelings are not enough to make a relation works. He wanted to date properly in order to have a healthy relationship. However, even if I moved to his country, it won't be before next year. He told me to that for me and not for him. What did he mean by that ? Now, I don't understand what I'm feeling. There's no anger, resentment towards him, only sadness and maybe the feeling to have been played. Is anyone went thru something similar?
I have a long distance relationship for 5 years and over now. We didn't see each other in person yet the love we have is real. We communicate everyday.But now, I think our relationship is ending for we don't understand each other anymore. I always find myself complaining and sensitive even for the smallest issues. He thinks it's just my own negative thoughts that's ruining our relationship but no matter how hard I try to confront him to resolve our issues, he would just blame it all on me and I get back at him too. What should I do? :-(
I just ended my LDR because of these reasons T.T He is too busy with work that he did not have time for me. When he comes home from work, he is tired and grumpy. He didn't care about me anymore. I was the only one who wanted to make it work. ><
I was in denial the first time I read this article, but saved it. Looking back, it happened. It was painful but hey, everything is in the past. I'm glad that happened, because it makes me appreciate my current boyfriend even more.
My ex and I would like to thank you for this article. We were going through a rough time and I found this article. I sent it to him and he agreed that the points are valid but there's no girl near by. So today, a week after that incident, he breaks up with me because he has been cheating on me for the past two weeks and is leaving me for the girl friend of his whom I was always suspicious about.
And the other 12 points? Right on!!
You are awesome. Please write an article about how to cope when your long distance boyfriends cheats you and leaves you.
I would really appreciate it
Thank you
Dose any girl or guy have any ides to a long distance relationship ? To make it better then before. Cause I'm about to meet her an I don't want to be the same way as I text her. Can someone please help?? ππππ
I want to be with him so badly that the thought of not having him makes my heart drop to my stomach. How do you trust someone who betrayed you so terribly?
He has cheated in the past and we took a three month break. After three months, he decided to return to school with me (a school he HATES) to be with me. However, his exes constantly text his phone and message him. And when he's home he's around them sometimes. I cannot tell if I am being paranoid or if something is going on.
@Nadom - I've had exactly the same problem with the same story except we've been together for 3 years rather than 4. He's supposed to be coming over this Christmas and is being so lax at buying his ticket, it makes me think he doesn't even want to come..like I'm forcing him to. But if he doesn't come, I feel like this will really be the end of the relationship. We can't sort out our problems from far away because he just won't talk/ communicate. I just can't do it anymore.
Will I go with the no contact with him or I will send him messages and explain my side which I did already. I also told him in my letter that I am an introvert and preserve and that I will change myself and reflect also this time that we are not talking. but still havent heard from him. I am confuse, pls help
Hi, I am new on this site. I have a boyfriend for 3 months, it was an LDR, we met twice and have a 2 day vacation on our 2nd meeting. When he return to his country for work, he told me not to contact him because he is under observation, it was about work and he will contact when things ok, when I contact him for 2 months, he said that he slowly lost feelings for me cause he didnt feel that I love him and I give my self partially during our vacation that I am not ready. What should I do, I truly love this guy, I told him that but he seems dont believe, I sent him a letter of what I feel and what I misses him and tell him that whatever decision he make I will be ok. Is what I do right? or do I have to contact him and call him, what should I do, I am hurting
I have been in a long distance relationship for the past four years, things have been going on pretty well at the beginning with constant communication be it through phone calls or skype..but now things seem to have changed,..its been over a year since we talked on the phone or skyped..the only means of communication is through chats, i felt that we were drifting apart and I decided to call it quits and end things with him, when I told him that maybe we should move on in life, then he started mailing me every other day expressing his feelings for me and when i feel that maybe this relationship deserves a chance, he gets back to his old self, not communicating much..I am really sick and tired of this..I want to end things on a good note but I have not been able to do so...please help!
I feel like I have no where to turn for advice because none of my girl friends can empathize with what I am going through right now. My long term boyfriend and I just started doing distance. He lives on the opposite side of the country than I. I am extremely devoted to him and have imagined myself being with him forever. The problem is that after never being apart and doing distance for the next two years, a lot of these signs are happening and I have tried to do and say everything I can think of to reassure him that this is just temporary and that this will be hard but that we will get through it together. However, he is now saying that he doesn't know if distance is for him and doesn't know how to find a solution to feeling unhappy. He says that talking on the phone and skyping doesn't bring him the same happiness that being together does and he doesn't know what to do to remedy this situation. Please help!!!
@renae it's not easy Renae, I will tell you it's hard. But as heather was saying you should move on but I think move on to live your life and figure out what's best for you instead of being with someone else. Live your life and see what comes your way and what you can handle and then be with who you truly love. Attractions will always come and make itself beautiful but it then depends in where your heart is and what truly matters to you. Hope you are blessed. :)
am back and better
I promised to tell the world about him that's why am posting this here...all thanks to DR JADULA...there are so many fake spell casters out there I was more than scammed heartbroken and almost gave up all hope until I met with him...now am so happy...
If you have issues mail jadulaspelltemple@gmail.com...he sure would help you he casts all kind of spells
I feel your pain but thankfully I did not invest 5 years of my life. I am so sorry. I just gave up nine months which I know pales in comparison. I am getting older though and it just plain sucks sometimes. Chin up. His loss.
Had something like that for 5 years.. was more like being strung along though and one sided, He just got married to someone he only met twice and knew for 6 months, Never again that is all I will say.
He also sprung it on me was all the time living with someone like immediatly after I confessed my feelings.
I don't trust him at all now and this is someone I thought was maybe the one.
Heather
Hi Nuno! I think that it is definitely love, but I think that you two need to talk about a lot of things and also really explore one another. :)
Erh. I feel kinda awkward in here. I'm actualy a guy, I've searched thru many websites and topics and I have the following case: I love my gf, problem is I live in Portugal and she lives in US (NY), we've never met eachother irl but in a way we were both able to become friends then it grew so big that I really think I love her.
I call her gf and she calls me bf, we've known eachother for 9months and my plan is to immigrate to NY suburbs. I've read this topic and it didn't help me a lot. For starts we have dificulty in talking with eachother since she's in college (she wants to be a medic) and I live 5 hours ahead of her, I'm always worried sick that something happens to her, she only sleeps about 5 hours or less a day.
I've realized that I want to be with her no matter what due to something that happened a few days ago.
I was doing a report, then we were talking about if she would cry if I died, she told me that she would never cry cuz of me but for a bunny or bird she would (obviously joking).
I told her that I couldn't live without her and that I rarely cry, then she asked me if she could make me cry. I told her to not try please lol
Then she said "I HATE YOU! YOU'RE ANNOYING, YOU PISS ME OFF EVERYDAY WITH YOUR BORING CONVOS! YOU DONT DESERVE ME GO SUCK A DICK!" then I said "awww I hate you too <3"
she said "no really. I have no heart, if I had to turn you down then I would."
Me: o.o you scary me sometimes.
her: Get the fuck away from me I dont want to speak to you ever again.
*she went silent*
Me: ...stop fooling around babe...it's not funny.
her: we're thru.
me: *bunch of rage text in how I did my fast, I gave her everything*
she went silent *class*
I actualy cried. took a pic of it and showed to her.
me: THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED. HAPPY!?
minutes later she sent me a pic of her eyes that are red from crying.
It even made me cry even more that I actualy acused her of such things.
Then she made a video in middle of the class telling me to not get mad and that she was sorry.
If she were to get caught there would be expulsion.
If that isn't love I don't know what it is.
I need someones opion.
Heather
Hi Babes! Is he still single? If so, I would definitely see if you can go out with him, especially if he is going to go away to another country, but just know, if the feelings are still there and so strong, it is going to be really hard. You could use the date as closure though.
Heather
That is so true Clara! Thank you for the comment and I am sorry about your situation, a break up is always hard, but it is easier in a LDR. :)
babes
my bf for 3 years broke up with me and told me he loves me but isnt in love with me.. it really make me felt devastated .. i tried to win him back and thought being friend with him is a nice way... we constantly chat for the past 12 mnths thought he and her new long distant gf had a fallout but now after 1 year he's back here in the philippines with the same gal.. i ddint contact him for 2 mnths but he did just last march 18... i dont know what is he up to letting me know he is here .. i replied his text message told him im glad he is okay and that he is welcome here and enjoying his vacation.. thats all i told him and also told him that if he's going back to his country he has safe travel.. i am maintaining my distance .. should i allow a date with him in a neutral ground just in case he ask before he leaves the country?.. i feel like i wanna say the things i ddint like and what i wanted from him that caused the break up? should i open this up just in case we tow are together on a date?
Ash
Hey! This is currently happening to me and all of the reasons that are given are actually happening, I don't know what to do? We used to be the most unseperable and cutest couple, but I guess no more.
Clara
This is an exact description of what happened to me once, so I ended it. It didn't hurt as much as I had expected, because in long distance relationships, you tend to just slowly drift away from each other, so when you finally break up, it's not so shocking. At least you're able to say you tried, and you did your best, right? Perhaps if I hadn't tried it, I would have wondered for the rest of my life wether things would have worked or not.
Lyndsie
Hey there! Did you hit the "next" button down at the bottom of the post? It will take you all through the list!
L....O
Why cant I see all the reason...?
Lyndsie
Hi Regina, thanks for your comment! His feelings might be hurt if he thinks you simply stopped talking to him, or he might simply be busy with work again. You just need to send him a message or email telling him exactly what happened -- and let him know when you have to get off the line for a second next time! :)
Lyndsie
Oh, that's such a tough situation, I'm so sorry! I went through that when I was younger, my godparents moved from the US to Australia and I was certain I'd never get to see or talk to them again. You should talk to your aunt and uncle, express your fears, and work out some plans so the three of you can still stay in contact as much as possible. In addition to phone calls, emails, messaging, written letters, and even video chats, work out some way to ensure you'll also get to visit each other, even if you have to help out each other with travel plans. It'll put your mind at ease and you'll have a game plan, which gives you a lot to look forward to!
regina
hi, everyone. i am new in this ldr stuffs. anyway at first we always talk there is no one bother us, anyone anything, but then i relaized yesterday, when he was on call line while he is so busy with his work at office, suddenly we fight a bit, then i go to bathroom without his knowing, and he message me "dont you want to talk to me?" then when i was back, he's gone until today, i cant reach him anywhere, is he try to avoided me? i reallt sad that i am cried the whole day, i cant call him either
Heather
Hi! Don't do anything that you aren't comfortable with. Trust me. :)
...O.O
Hi,an my bf is in India we talk like a cute couple and we have little fights but we go in and out our relationship he wants pictures of my body and I keep saying no what should I do and today is my day and he keeps ignoring my text you plz help
Anonymous
Hi i didn't know where else to go and this has nothing to do with the love of my life, in fact it's about my aunty and uncle, they are moving away permanently and i don't think i'll be able to deal with it when they go, i get along with them so well, we are tight you know like we do everything together it's kinds like us 3 against the world but now that's shattered and i don't know if i'll ever see them again and if i do it would be rare. It kills me i never thought this would happen, i wanna go with them but i can't do you have any ways that could help me try and move on and say goodbye and be happy again cuz at the moment it seems impossible thnx
Heather
Hi Ana! Thanks for the comment! Truthfully, I think that he needs to either get with you or not be with you. He needs to make up his mind what he wants and you need to make up your mind if you want to be with him. :)
Ana
Am in need of some advice.Am in love with this guy who says he did not end the relationship with his girlfriend, but they just stopped communcatting. when i asked him what if she comes back and he says he does not want her any more but his actting cold towards me when we met, we have a good time then when we are apart, he talks for a few days vaie skype and if i dont call him, he will bearly call or he may take days with out calling or talking to me. i am pregnant for him but his haveing doubts. that am not when i asked him if he likes it he said he does but his douting that am not pregnant i told him we take a test for him to prove he said no he belives me but according to the things thats his doing,its like his not over his EX. i asked him if he still communicate with his EX he said that she calls when the EXs daughter whants to talk to him but i dont belive this because she is a very little girl who cant constract a sentance then how can she call and say the girl wants to talk to him am so confused my english is not so good but i hope you understand what i have written please i need help on what i should do
Heather
Hi Friday! Have you tried to bring up these concerns with him? It sounds like you need a bit more communication with your boyfriend.
Friday
I've been in a three year relationship n my boyfriend doesn't do anything pencil for I cook clean do his laundry I text him he never text back calls me after two weeks we stay home al the time I buy staff for him he never does am so sad I'm failing out of love any advise
Heather
Hi Nana! Sometimes, they just need a break, that's all -- I'd say that you should give him that break and talk to him later.
nanayaa
what of if he tells me he is not in the mood to talk so later.
Heather
Have you tried to talk to him about how you are feeling Zoe? That might be a good place to start!
Heather
Hi Myriam! I think that it is a realistic post. Sometimes, you've just got to know when your LDR is ending. :) That doesn't mean that because he doesn't talk to you for a few days, he doesn't want to be with you. :)
Myriam
What a pessimistic article! In a long distance relationship sometimes you've just gotta accept that if you're not around your bf's gonna do other things, he's gonna have plans, he's gonna go out and he's generally gonna get on with his life. As should you. You should just put aside some time every couple of days to talk and maybe visit.
Heather
Hi Zoe! I think that you definitely need to talk to him. I know it's scary, but it's a necessity if you are crying!
Zoe
And I'm scared to talk to him and make him feel bad but I go to bed crying thinking he doesn't love me
Zoe
Hey heather Jensen,
Well I've been dating this guy for 3 and a half years and recently he got a Xbox and we barly talk only when I play online with him but there's this other girl on there we play with and he seems to always say good job to her and she's the best and when his other friends come o he would talk to them and forget about me? Plz I need help I'm really in love with him
Thanks
Heather
Hi Nicky! Sometimes with a LDR, it's just hard in general. I'd say that if you two drifted apart and you and him are willing to work on it, why not talk to him a little more about it? I know that you and him both let things go lax in the relationship, but if you promise to work at it, it could get better!
So I spoke to my ex long distance boyfriend on the phone after he ended it, I wasn't happy at all with the way we left it, looking back I think I was (still am) just hurt and confused. He said that he has felt detached, that he felt we were more like friends that boyfriend and girlfriend, to me this came out of nowhere!! We talked everyday, granted it wasn't exactly flirty, more just talking to each other about our days, was this the problem? That I didn't try hard enough to be flirty or sext? Is this why he stopped seeing me as a girlfriend? Why didn't he tell me he was feeling this way? If I had known I could have fixed it!
I am so devastated and just want some straight up answers, he was only my second boyfriend, but I definitely felt such a strong connection to him, I felt he was the one, and that I've lost him, that I've dropped the ball on this one :/
Any advice or thoughts?
xx
Heather
Hi Nicky! I actually don't agree, I think that it would have come out eventually and you would have been that much more hurt, because you would've been more invested. I am glad that he came clean and that you can finally find someone that is worth your time.
Hi, I'm 21 and my boyfriend just ended our long distance relationship :( when I visited him I told him that I had never liked anyone as much as much as I liked him and that I was "all in" with this.....3 weeks later he called it off saying that he didn't think he would ever like me as much as I liked him, that he wasn't as attracted to me as he was when were together everyday :( I can't help feeling if I had held off telling him things would have worked out so differently :(
Any advice?
xx
Heather
Yes. I absolutely do hate that! It's horrible! :)
Noni
Don't you just hate it when you actually try, the other person just doesn't or does worse?-__-
Hi Renae-I totally agree with Heather! It sounds to me that if you don't explore the feelings with the other guy-you will always wonder what could have been with him. I've been in a long distance relationship for many years-the one thing I've learned is communication, compromise, effort to make the other person happy and effort to solve problems are key ingredients to a good relationship..if you are lacking in any of those areas, both of you must be willing to improve them. Let us know how things go!
Heather
Hey Renae! It sounds to me like you are craving something new -- and that's hard to cure when you are in a relationship that is stale. I'd see if you could get a break from your boyfriend, explore things with the other guy. :)
renae
Hi , I am a 21 year old female living near the city with some serious boy dilemmas going on. Could you help?
I am in the need of some serious advice. My boyfriend and I have been together since last October, coming up on a year. He lives an hour and a half away in a really small town where the nearest wal-mart is an hour away. His way of life is definitely more country than mine living near the city. I live near Des Moines, IA and have everything at my fingertips. I also just graduated nursing school and am looking to move out of my parents house. I started school again this fall, working on my bachelors, but classes are all online. My boyfriend has tried really hard to convince me to move into his house in the country.
After nursing schoo, I had truly set up my future career perfectly, working in the hospital as a CNA and then training on my floor to be a nurse. I really wanted to start work at the children's hospital in the same hospital and thankfully I started picking up hours at the children's hospital with every intention to start part-time work when available. This job is my DREAM JOB. My boyfriend complains about his job every night and could easily get a job in the city; however, he truly hates the city and already commutes an hour to work. I wanted him to move here up until recently when that is all I could think about and he would just tell me to go with the flow. We see each other about every weekend, taking turns going to each others houses and we hardly ever spend more than 8 hours with each other since my parents are strict about spending the night with boys while I live in their house. I spend the night occasionally and lie to my mom about it since my dad tells me I'm an adult and can make my own decisions.
However, recently a neighborhood boy that I knew for many years growing up got in touch with me. My parents know and like him. We've just been catching up over SMS and met only one briefly for coffee. My boyfriend doesn't know that I've caught up with a past friend and with our stand-still relationship my parents are really pushing my boyfriend out the door. They were very straight in giving me advice about my current relationship and the stand-still of it all. My past friend is very cute, very bummed that I have a boyfriend and very nice. I told him a little bit about my current situation and he was baffled and said that he would move the ten minutes closer to me without blinking. My current boyfriend says that besides living close to the city turns him off, so does leaving his hunting land, big country family, friends and life. I just don't know how long I can "go with the flow" in my current relationship and am not even sure I see a true future with someone who won't even move or compromise. We have talked about meeting in the middle because I would possibly be okay with a 45 minute commute, but he doesn't seem too interested or actually trying to make things happen with his idea. I really do love him a lot and we have a lot of fun when we are together, but the weeks in between are very lonely and I start to feel the distance quite often. The thought of breaking up with him is truly heart-breaking, but I don't know where this relationship is going and with a new interesting, closer interest coming back into my life I'm having thoughts of breaking up with the boyfriend. HELP!
Heather
Hey Jen! You can totally post it here! I'll answer! :)
Jen
@Heather Jensen, I need some advice but I'd rather not post it is a reply is this possible?
David
I really like when she doesn't schedule a time to message, but just does it out of the blue and then gets angry about me not having time for her. I mean, I guess my employer should be fine and understanding when I don't show up for work because my girlfriend who can't be bothered to actually answer her phone for me, but can talk with her friends all day, wants to IM as I'm leaving for work, then tells me I'm just using it as an excuse not to talk to her. I'm not mad, it happened about ten years ago when I was in collage. But seriously, that Should have been a GREAT sign for her that our long distance relationship was ending, especially after the 30th time it happened.
Heather
Aww! I'm so glad that it worked out Brooke!! That's awesome! :)
Brooke
This actually happened to me. I ended it because I had that feeling. About a month later I got a text from him. Just a normal conversation then boom. He hit me with the question have you met anyone new...? I responded no and he said no one could compare to the love he had for me.. We are currently together again ^-^
Heather
Thanks Sam! I hope that these work for you! ;)
Samantha
its sad reading this when it's actually true :/ most of the points are so right except about that there's a girl closer to him. well i'm gonna try to make my relationship healthier and talk about what we can improve without forcing him (although he doesn't say anything and i'm the one having to talk about it..) good tips by the way, thanks!