Apparently Eva Mendes had to calm her nerves before filming sex scenes with Joaquin Phoenix.
You know, THIS guy.
Pardon me while I drop my jaw with incredulity, shall you?
Ah, all done.
She revealed: "I wasn’t comfortable at all, but they were very sweet and they poured me a vodka and orange juice and then I was fine.
"I’m very professional and I don’t usually drink on the job but that morning I had to have something.
It was my first sex scene and thank God James Gray was directing it.
He did it at the end of the shoot, so it was the last day and I was really, really comfortable with James and Joaquin."
Oh, I BET you were very comfortable, since drinking screwdrivers all day would relax a bullheaded yak.
Here’s another nugget of wisdom from our Eva:
Eva also joked that working with Joaquin was like working with a puppy.
She said: "It’s kind of like working with a puppy dog or a two-year-old.
When you have its attention, it’s really cute, but otherwise…
But, seriously, he is one of the greatest actors of his generation."
This, my loverlies, is a prime example of what is commonly known as a "backhanded compliment", currently practiced by mothers all over the world.
"I could see your pretty face better if you lost 20 pounds, dear!"
"I’m so glad you have the courage to wear something like that - really shows that you’re not afraid to tell the world you don’t care what you look like."
Now that we’re all cringing with mother-inflicted guilt, just think of what poor Joaquin must be feeling, compared to a frikking PUPPY.
Don’t worry, I’ll comfort the poor lad.
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