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Petra’s Short, Short Dress

Petra’s Short, Short Dress

Did Petra Nemcova actually tuck the sides of her dress up into her panties? ‘Cause it really looks like it. Even if you’re a supermodel, you can’t will a skirt not to look absurdly short after a certain point. . . and I think this is it.

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So This is How They Do It All. . .

So This is How They Do It All. . .

Heidi Klum was out shopping with her three nannies and her mother in Soho. I’m not sure if this would reduce my stress levels or not, but I’d probably make sure that they didn’t all color coordinate with me. Gross.

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Two Terrible Black Dresses, Two Different Places

Two Terrible Black Dresses, Two Different Places

Exhibit A, Judith Godreche:

I went to fashion school, and I can tell you right away that this is a freshman-year disaster. Appliques? Puh-lease. And, to make it even worse, this women is French–Parisian, no less.

And then there’s Exhibit B, a disaster even closer to home. I present to you: Maria Menounos!

Was the intention to exclude any hint of waist? If so, nice job, Maria. Otherwise, I think you might have missed the mark.

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Johnny Depp Can Look As Weird As He Wants. . .

Johnny Depp Can Look As Weird As He Wants. . .

And I’ll still be enamored! He always wears the vintage beads, scarves, and glasses, but it just looks like European flair. It makes a whole new world of men’s accessories completely acceptable. Yummy, yummy.

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Pamela Disregards Typical Airport Attire

Pamela Disregards Typical Airport Attire

It’s kind of crazy to see these photos of Pamela Anderson getting off the plane wearing her high, high platforms and a super-short skirt. What happened to dressing for comfort? I hope she changed on the plane and didn’t actually endure a flight like that. Then again, she’s probably immune to it all by now, anyway!
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Britney’s Confidence Rises, Dress Sense Gets Worse

Britney’s Confidence Rises, Dress Sense Gets Worse

I don’t really know what to say about this, but I do think that it should be brought to everyone’s attention that Britney Spears does in fact feel confident enough to wear see-through shirts, and she still has a sufficient lack of sense and style to think she can pull it off.

Hey, Britney? WE GET IT, YOU’RE SKINNY NOW. Bra-vah.

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Kirsten Gets More Cash. . . Hopefully to Spend on Clothes

Kirsten Gets More Cash. . . Hopefully to Spend on Clothes

I secretly love that Kirsten can schlump around Paris like this, even with side-boob exposure and a non-pretty bra.

What a devil-may-care attitude for someone who getting richer by the day, given the recent Spidey success. Yep, the biggest opening weekend ever in North America will definitely give Kirsten the funds to update her wardrobe, and then some. Especially if ratty tees are what she’s after.

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What the Kentucky Derby’s All About

What the Kentucky Derby’s All About

The Kentucky Derby means two things to me: horses and giant hats. While I love a statement, I’m not so sure about these big hats. Some of them work well, like Laura Prepon’s hat and shoes combo, while I’m simply not so sure about Melissa Joan Hart. Check it out for yourself:

What’s with the applique? What’s with the bag? Goodness gracious, woman, who wears lime green heels and barely matching accessories to the Kentucky Derby?! It looks ...

Paris Tries to Trick Us, Fires Publicist

Paris Tries to Trick Us, Fires Publicist

It’s far too late to try the white-wearing angel routine with us, Paris. I guess she has fired her publicist Elliot Mintz for miscommunication, saying that he told her that she could drive with a suspended license when all of us knew that she couldn’t. Common sense can only go so far, it seems, and not far enough when your name is Paris. She’s appealing the 45-day sentence as we speak. Uh-oh.

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Jessica and Her Man Pants Party with the Pussycat Dolls

Jessica and Her Man Pants Party with the Pussycat Dolls

I feel nauseous. Don’t her legs look positively Jack Sprat-esque? Her bottom half looks shrunken and skinny next to that massive satin blazer. I’m curious about those shoes, mainly because they’re the ugliest things I’ve ever seen. Do you think they’re boots? Or worse. . . ankle boots?

Jessica probaby looked hot standing next to the Pussycat Dolls anyway.

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Petra’s Lopsided

Petra’s Lopsided

I’m not blogging about breasts, though. Well, not really. The way Petra Nemcova is standing, the left side of her dress looks like it’s open, or unzipped, or something.  And it looks like the Paris “crazy eye” has spread as well.

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Mischa Gets Daring with High-Waisted Shorts

Mischa Gets Daring with High-Waisted Shorts

Hey, there is something worse than high-waisted pants–high-waisted shorts! If Mischa can’t even work these, then it really can’t be done. Well, maybe someone like Kate Moss can do it, but I’m feeling dubious about this trend for sure.

There is something else that is bothering me, too. How high is your self esteem if you can actually go out (at night, no less) wearing baggy, high-waisted shorts and a striped, v-neck sweater?! WOW.

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Mischa Takes a Break from the Keds Promotion

Mischa Takes a Break from the Keds Promotion

. . . and promotes something else! She’s in London right now to promote SAFE, a skin awareness program. Living in Cali and being surrounded by overtanned starlets must have given her some inspiration. I’m pretty sure most will disagree, but I’m loving the dress. I can’t imagine anyone else looking that good in it. I am still sad that hookah heels are back, though. Ew.

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Penelope’s Perks Make Headlines

Penelope’s Perks Make Headlines

The L.A. Times described Penelope Cruz’s Sahara perks in a recent article, and wow–I’m jealous. Totaling about $835,000, Penelope’s little bonuses rival her $1.6 million paycheck. What I’m interested in are the hairstylist and makeup artist, cashing in at $135,550 apiece. The costume dresser perk was only valued at a mere $22,235. How disappointing.

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