Britney Spears was in Miami without a bra and taking her shirt off in public again. This might have been cutesy in 1999 and maybe even in 2003. Now it’s just sad. Someone should break it to her. Guys don’t get excited when a tubby chick with butch hair strips down. Ergo, those screams aren’t from a multitude of men detonating in their pants. They’re actual screams. Of fear. And resentment. For being born with eyes.

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