T.A.B.

T.A.B.

T.A.B.'s stories:

Yesterday the company had a big luncheon. Natural…

Yesterday the company had a big luncheon. Naturally, I overate. The fact that I’m wearing an orthopedic shoe until the stitches come out kind of kills my ability to exercise as well.

Someone commented to me the other day about how I am pessimistic about myself and life in general. I think I get that from my father. He’s an accountant and has a tendency to look at the “realistic” views on a

I knew it all the time. See below.You are Superma…

I knew it all the time. See below.You are Superman
You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.

Superman
85%
Spider-Man
65%
Robin
60%
Hulk
55%
Supergirl
50%
Green Lantern
50%
Batman
45%
Iron Man
35%
The Flash
30%
Catwoman
30%
Wonder Woman
20%

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

I have voices in my head. Specificly, there are t…

I have voices in my head. Specificly, there are three of them.

The First Voice is the voice of Panic. Although “panic” does imply a sudden shock, it’s not always like that. Sometimes the panic is based on a perceived shortcoming in my life (not good at my job, don’t have a girlfriend, etc. The “don’t have a girlfriend” is just used as an example and is not currently applicable, thanks for

It’s a boobie day. I’m a huge fan of burgers. I …

It’s a boobie day.

I’m a huge fan of burgers. I have therefore decided that if I ever visit Arizona in the future, I will try to eat here.

Also, Denmark has a perfect method of getting people to obey speed limits. I wish they would instigate it here. The link is not safe for work.

That is all.

Man, I HATE it when I screw up like this. I took …

Man, I HATE it when I screw up like this.

I took some gift cards and coupons in my coat pocket when I visited Bunny and AmyMay at the Jersey Gardens Mall. One was for Best Buy (gift card) and another was for Van Heusen (coupon). Both fell out of my pocket somehow over the course of the evening. I don’t know how, but they did. This isn’t the first time I’ve lost something out of my coat

Last night, I passed out in my bathroom again. I …

Last night, I passed out in my bathroom again. I blame the Percocet. I blacked out and found myself much closer to the floor (although not actually lying on it). More interestingly, I noticed in the morning that the center mirror pane of my medicine cabinet had a huge crack in it. I must have hit my head on it and not noticed.

Because the Percocet was not making me a happy camper, I took the

I went to the hospital to get my corn removed. Th…

I went to the hospital to get my corn removed. The doctor immediately looked at head and said “It’s malignant. We have to amputate.”

Okay, that’s not what happened. Actually, in order to straighten my little toe, they had to drill a hole in my head and pull up some nerve endings from the cerebral cortex. Like those scenes in Tom and Jerry cartoons.

Okay, that’s not what happened. Actually,

Tomorrow I’m having a major operation to remove th…

Tomorrow I’m having a major operation to remove the corn on the little toe of my left foot. I’m hoping the hospital will fly in the casts of either “Grey’s Anatomy” or “ER” to take care of it (or, if I have to settle, the cast of “House”). The cast of “3 lbs” has been eliminated from consideration since they’ve been cancelled. Since I don’t watch any of these shows, how would each TV cast

If the concept of pornography easily offends you, …

If the concept of pornography easily offends you, stop reading now.

Before I begin, let me offer my sincerest apologies to Wes for what I’m about to confess. I got a copy on my own. Sorry.

I managed to get my hands on the porno movie “Abducted by the Daleks” (or Daloids, or whatever they’re called in the movie). For those unaware, the Daleks are classic Doctor Who monsters. They are an

So I finally got on the scale this morning after a…

So I finally got on the scale this morning after a weekend of binge-like eating and no exercise.

I’m back up to 209 lbs. Argh.

According to a few charts I’ve found online, the ideal weight for my height is 185. Why is losing weight so frickin’ impossible?

I’ve never been thin in my life. I’ve never been obese either, but I’ve never been thin. I’ve heard some blame genes (some people lose


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