Sarah Jean Snarker

Sarah Jean Snarker

Sarah Jean Snarker's stories:

Law According to Snark: Paparazzi Assault

Law According to Snark: Paparazzi Assault

New Rule: Assaulting photogs is not a punishable offense.

I’m not saying paparazzi aren’t human, I’m just saying their line of work means they’re the ones who A) don’t belong where they shoot and B) act in a manner that should be considered criminal.

Paparazzi stalking stars should be seen as trespassing, and celebs should be allowed to take action to protect their images.

No one actually gets upset at these stars acting out against photographers, do they? We should applaud these stars, as we wish we could act out against those unsolicited phone callers!

Bah!

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Paris Starts her 23 Days

Paris Starts her 23 Days

 

Today Paris is spending her first full day in jail, after turning herself in last night to be processed. I wonder if it is a full day of settling in and learning the ropes type of activities, or does Paris have time alone spent being reflective or more likely feeling scared. What good could come from this? To be positive one would think some maturity, self awareness/reflection, or even substance abuse help. More likely Paris will still see herself as a victim with a “why me” attitude and leave this time of incarceration with no inner growth at all.

For a person who craves publicity, who thrives on it and is seen by the general populous as her sole reason for existence, this whole experience certainly will provide much publicity even if it is not exactly prime publicity. But a savvy celebrity whose life is so much in the public eye can twist any situation around and in the end come out looking like a winner. Paris has many fans, many people who crave any news and information about her. People will support her no matter what and some will love and adore her even more.

So here is to Paris’s first day locked up, and with good behavior only 22 more to serve!    

Classic Scrolldown: Halliwell’s So-So Ensemble

Classic Scrolldown: Halliwell’s So-So Ensemble

Geri Halliwell has been hittin’ the streets lately. Her fashion is questionable, but not all bad at all.

There’s always something off in an outfit though, isn’t there? …

Still, is this all such a bad thing, or is it just the shoes? Vote below!

Hot or Not: Geri’s Scrolldown…

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Guess Spot: Surgery? Makeover?

Guess Spot: Surgery? Makeover?

I don’t know whether this B lister (hint #1) has had plastic surgery or just has on a lot of makeup. She (yes, she, not a drag queen [hint #2]) might have excuse for looking somewhat different lately (hint #3), but this much?

I’ll give you another hint, she’s at a Chinese H&M opening.

Click for answer:

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Geri Haliwell: A Fit & Fabulous Mama!

Geri Haliwell: A Fit & Fabulous Mama!

Well, well, Geri Haliwell – roughly one year after giving birth – is one fit & fabulous looking new mama!

Do you agree? Vote below.

Geri Haliwell: Hot or Not?

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What has Charlotte Church Done with her Bikini Top?!

What has Charlotte Church Done with her Bikini Top?!

I’ve figured it out …

And I’m serious folks: she took down the straps of her top and placed them under her arm pits. Why??? Maybe her growing breasts (she’s pregnant) got too big for it, and it was uncomfortable or it didn’t look right? No! Pregnant women must A: buy appropriate sizes and B: wear appropriate styles! No bikinis for you, Charlotte. Not for a while. Don’t worry, you’ll probably lose the weight just fine after giving birth.

What she’s done here just looks awful. Her boobs are probably going to pop out, and she’s lucky if they didn’t. But you at home, oh yours would pop out. DON’T DO IT!

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Ill-Advised Britney Dons 60s Easter Dress

Ill-Advised Britney Dons 60s Easter Dress

 

It appears somebody advised Britney Spears she’d better look to her past to move her career forward. She then looked way too far back in time – back to the 60s, and thought she’d just wear its fashion. Doh!

What say you?

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Guess Spot Celeb Giving Paparazzi the Finger

Guess Spot Celeb Giving Paparazzi the Finger

Can you spot this celeb giving the paparazzi the finger while hiding behind her bag?

 And more importantly, can you name the designer of the bag?

Click here to find out. But do tell us who makes the bag!

Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz – a TIGHT PAIR

Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz – a TIGHT PAIR

Ashlee Simpson partied with Pete Wentz over the weekend; the pair were spotted hand-in-hand at night club Parc … and well … HOLY LORD TIGHT PANTS!

Ugh I can’t stand to look at Mr. Crotch — ooh I mean. Okay I can’t STOP looking at IT.

I hope these two last a while because .. I’m calling it! You ready? Their couple nickname is

Ass & Pepe.

And holy lord again! This boy is soo pretty! NOT. What are these, glamour shots MySpace style?

(And yes, that’s a Fendi B. bag Ashlee’s carrying. TALK about what doesn’t belong here!)

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Uma Thurman Fails Swimsuit 101 – Yikes!

This is one of the most unbelievable frights I’ve seen in a long time.

Usually lovely & sexy with class, Uma Thurman has lost all appeal with one ill-fitting top.

Swimsuit Fit 101: Lesson # ooh say oh TOP TWO: Womanly figures require supportive tops, underwire and the like. Uma looks like she’s wearing a slingshot or old wash rags.

Who knew the Hollywood Starlet known for her physical beauty from such films as The Truth About Cats and Dogs wasn’t perfect? Oh honey, this kind of shock to the public is not good for you. This publicity, well it might just be the one piece of tabloid fodder to break the golden rule: it’s b.a.d.

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