7 Ways to Make a Relationship Work after a Cheating Episode ...

They say you can fix a broken vase but the glue will always show. Now, that may work for glassware but relationships are something else. It’s true that, once an adultery has been committed, you can’t expect the things to go back to normal overnight, but many couples have managed to beat the odds, get past the cheating episode and live happily ever after. So, if you’re the one that cheated, the one that is trying to get past the partner’s infidelity or, if you just know a person that might use an advice – here are 7 steps that will make dealing with the situation easier.

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Think Things through

The cheating one has to decide whether he loves his partner enough to do everything possible to salvage the relationship. Cheating is the worst thing you can do and it would be foolish to expect the other person to say, “Ok, I forgive you. Now, did you get that shampoo I asked you to pick up on your way home?” It takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice! Now, if you have been cheated on, I can totally understand how you feel right now. And, believe me, hiding it and pretending you don’t care is wrong. Let it all out, cry, don’t keep the pain bottled up inside. Once that is out of your system you will be able to think more rationally and decide whether you want the cheater back or no.

Get to the Bottom of It

Talking about the things that made you or your partner resort to cheating is not easy but it’s the only way. You see, I think most of my relationships failed because of the fact that I like to shove problems under the rug and pretend that everything is OK. Now, that’s definitely the easier way but it only leads to more problems and ends with cheating, breaking up or both. Find the problems and work up the solutions so you could have a fresh start.

Forget the Words and Focus on the Acts

“I love you” sure did mean a lot before that cheating episode but, honestly, it’s worth a diddly squat now! So, if you are the cheating one, find other ways to demonstrate your love and regain your “relationship credibility”. Just make sure they don’t involve material things because your loved one might feel like you are trying to buy their love. Explain how sorry you are, take responsibility for your actions and be prepared to answer all the questions your partner may have.

Forgive and Forget

Your partner had cheated on you, you’ve discussed it and decided to move on and try to make it work. Congratulations for letting the love win! However, jealousy and the lack of trust may interfere here so make sure that, once you forgive your cheating partner and learn a lesson, you observe the cheating episode as a thing of the past. Your partner should help you with that by working hard to regain your trust and you should be open to that. Don’t give in easily because he/she has to learn a lesson too, but don’t fall into the trap of using that mistake as an excuse to act jealous, make insulting comments or make him/her suffer.

Rekindle the Old Flames

Think about the things that brought you two together, that made you grow strong as a couple and re-experience those moments. Start going to dinners and visiting museums once again or go camping, hiking or anything you like. Do all those things you used to do while your relationship was still fresh. You see, one of the most common reasons for cheating is the feeling of being stuck in a rut. And, let’s face it, all relationships go through that boring phase when one person knows exactly what the other person will say, do or suggest.

Famous Quotes

Meaning is not what you start with but what you end up with.

Peter Elbow

Don’t Be Vindictive

Your partner’s cheating is not your get-out-of-jail-free card. If you take his cheating as a permission to cheat back once the good opportunity comes out, what’s the point of saving the relationship now only to destroy it again in a couple of days, months or years?

Work on the Trust

Every healthy relationship is build upon trust so, once you manage to trust each other again, things can go their usual way. Sometimes it takes years to get the relationship to what it used to be before the “unfortunate event”, sometimes you realize that you can never feel the same for that person again but sometimes, cheating or being cheated on opens your eyes and makes you realize how much you love that person and how you can’t stand the thought of losing her. The cheater should work very hard on rebuilding that trust – no lies, no checking out other girls/guys and no shutting off the phone.

What is your take on this? Have you ever been in this situation and, if yes, how did you deal with it? Feel free to add more tips and share your opinion on cheating, forgiving and moving on. Would you find it in your heart to forgive or would you break up immediately?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

He has to quit seeing her, even quit his job if she works there. Your marriage is worth this.

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. I've given everything to him he may aswell be my mothers son that's how much my family have accepted him and love him. About four months ago I kissed an ex boyfriend at a party. I realised what i had done and left the party so ashamed with myself and saw my boyfriend straight away and told him. Everything was forgiven and all okay. On New Year's Eve we were both invited to a party with my younger sister and her boyfriend. I couldn't attend because I promised my friend I would attend a festival with her. So my boyfriend still went. On the New Years countdown he messaged me and said he loved me and wish he was with me. At about 1am he said he was going to get the train to see me Because he missed me so much. That's when I stopped hearing from him. I called about 30 times and did not hear from him until 7am. He said he fell asleep and was so sorry and came and picked me up. That night he treated me like an angel I knew something was wrong. A day later I found out he had kissed someone in my sisters group of friends and invited her to bed with him. He has said they did nothing but kiss. The worst thing is I was calling him while he was kissing her and he was ignoring my calls. I was on his mind and he still fell asleep next to a random girl. He's doing everything he can to fix this. He has left flowers notes sent millions of messages and wants to see me and make a difference. It's the first time he's ever done something like this and I know that I kissed someone aswell four months ago. The thing that hurts most though is how he could sleep with her knowing I'm calling him every second. Please help I don't know what to do I can't eat I have no Motivation I just need help

Hello , so I was reading this because I feel that the situation I am in right now is similar and wished for some advice I started talking to this guy I met at church and I felt like he was the right for me we had a lot of moments we had that made me think and feel a lot for him , one day we opened up to each other and we confessed to each other that we had feelings for one another and how we felt about it we decided to wait in God timing for everything to go right for us to take a relationship in God timing we thought it was best for us to be close and get to know each other more and keep praying that if its God will time passed and I was happier with him and he was as well , but there came a day where all that changed I started seeing him diferent around me he would still tell m nice things but at time I would feel him so far away I didn't understand why , throughout time I got the answer to my question through social media I saw a picture of him with another girl hugging and showing that they were in a relationship it broke me down because we had lots a hope for each other he build me a rainbow full of happiness and like any other girl I fell into depression and cried didn't know what to do , of course I asked why he did it knowing that he was talking to me and praying for me and told him t stop lying to me and show me the truth , he confessed that he was talking to the other girl and that yes it was fun but that was it with her that she was just a person he thought he would like but he realized that she wasn't the one he wanted to be with he said how he regrets it and he would of wished to tell me sooner and that he was in a moment of confusion and didn't know what he wanted and he was broken I understood I wasn't very convinced because I was hurt and I prayed I realized to give him a chance to start over with me and forget that he was talking to another girl and make things right again he felt that he didn't he didn't deserve a second chance because he felt horrible about and take all things back , right now yes I like him a lot and i still feel hurt what he did to me and don't comprehend why he did it but im willing to continue to pray and be there for him and he as well said he would put his part him talked to the girl and told her that i was the one he wanted to be with and yes she was hurt and made me feel bad in a way because I know someone was going to get hurt , its difficult because i feel like hugging him and being close but I know its not right because this is recent , I have thoughts a lot of times because i feel like how about if we get into a relationship someday and he cheats. But i feel if its God will i know we will stay together and grow together .He does tell me to look for God and pray for him and even through all the chaos that i still for God and not depend on him because he failed me My question and advice is it right for me to forgive and forget and what can I do to overcome what he did and for my heart to heal am I suppose to get away for him for a while and keep praying ? I really do want us to work and do things and he as well expressed to me that he also wants that

@Bear my husband cheated on me, it's hard for a woman to let go of those thoughts of your actions, that obviously hurt her. It takes time and patient, she needs to know that you love her, and that you made a mistake.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 years now, he cheated on me with his colleague (ex colleague now) on our 2nd year of dating. I was a virgin back then and did not want to give it up as yet so I would think that is one of the reason that drove him to start cheating. I forgave him, he has been doing his utmost best until this day to prove himself and try and get back my trust again, I know he loves me dearly and I love him too. Thing is they are still in contact via social media with this girl (Facebook & Instagram). She cant seem to disappear and I hate that. They stopped chatting that very same year I caught them because I told him to stop, but me having to see her comments on every status my boyfriend post does not make things easy for me. It kinda sets me back, it brings memories from the past, it gets me questioning myself from time to time if I will ever get over this, if the pain will ever go away. It's not something I go through often but it gets back to me every year. I sometimes ask myself if it would be better to just end this relationship so I wont ever have to dwell on the past, so I wont have to feel this pain but problem is I truly love this man. Something new might come my way but whether or not it will be better than what I have now is something that cannot be answered in the present. My heart has not completely healed. Any advice please??

i would never forgive my gf. i can't even think of any good excuse for cheating. yes no matter how much i would love her, i wouldn't forgive oh and if the guy, with who my gf had cheated, i beat the sh*t out of him end of story

Hello , so I was reading this because I feel that the situation I am in right now is similar and wished for some advice I started talking to this guy I met at church and I felt like he was the right for me we had a lot of moments we had that made me think and feel a lot for him , one day we opened up to each other and we confessed to each other that we had feelings for one another and how we felt about it we decided to wait in God timing for everything to go right for us to take a relationship in God timing we thought it was best for us to be close and get to know each other more and keep praying that if its God will time passed and I was happier with him and he was as well , but there came a day where all that changed I started seeing him diferent around me he would still tell m nice things but at time I would feel him so far away I didn't understand why , throughout time I got the answer to my question through social media I saw a picture of him with another girl hugging and showing that they were in a relationship it broke me down because we had lots a hope for each other he build me a rainbow full of happiness and like any other girl I fell into depression and cried didn't know what to do , of course I asked why he did it knowing that he was talking to me and praying for me and told him t stop lying to me and show me the truth , he confessed that he was talking to the other girl and that yes it was fun but that was it with her that she was just a person he thought he would like but he realized that she wasn't the one he wanted to be with he said how he regrets it and he would of wished to tell me sooner and that he was in a moment of confusion and didn't know what he wanted and he was broken I understood I wasn't very convinced because I was hurt and I prayed I realized to give him a chance to start over with me and forget that he was talking to another girl and make things right again he felt that he didn't he didn't deserve a second chance because he felt horrible about and take all things back , right now yes I like him a lot and i still feel hurt what he did to me and don't comprehend why he did it but im willing to continue to pray and be there for him and he as well said he would put his part him talked to the girl and told her that i was the one he wanted to be with and yes she was hurt and made me feel bad in a way because I know someone was going to get hurt , its difficult because i feel like hugging him and being close but I know its not right because this is recent , I have thoughts a lot of times because i feel like how about if we get into a relationship someday and he cheats. But i feel if its God will i know we will stay together and grow together .He does tell me to look for God and pray for him and even through all the chaos that i still for God and not depend on him because he failed me My question and advice is it right for me to forgive and forget and what can I do to overcome what he did and for my heart to heal am I suppose to get away for him for a while and keep praying ? I really do want us to work and do things and he as well expressed to me that he also wants that

i feel in love with a man that i didnt know well at first. As time goes by i learned much about him and found out stranger things about him even kids he didnt want to admit on my face. Last year end he was behaving so stranger i found out he is cheating me with another women a cray women who pick fight with me through the phone always. I am trying my best i love him and i dont like wat he do and i dont know wat to do either

@Crystal Skye it's hard to stay with a person who was emotionally connected with another woman. That battle I wouldn't want to fight. I am a strong woman, and I feel that I can't fight against that, how could we, when feelings are involved. Physical cheating is something that you might be able to forgive, and move on. Emotional cheating is harder.

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