7 Ways to Make a Relationship Work after a Cheating Episode ...

By Jelena

7 Ways to Make a Relationship Work after a Cheating Episode ...

They say you can fix a broken vase but the glue will always show. Now, that may work for glassware but relationships are something else. It’s true that, once an adultery has been committed, you can’t expect the things to go back to normal overnight, but many couples have managed to beat the odds, get past the cheating episode and live happily ever after. So, if you’re the one that cheated, the one that is trying to get past the partner’s infidelity or, if you just know a person that might use an advice – here are 7 steps that will make dealing with the situation easier.

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1

Think Things through

The cheating one has to decide whether he loves his partner enough to do everything possible to salvage the relationship. Cheating is the worst thing you can do and it would be foolish to expect the other person to say, “Ok, I forgive you. Now, did you get that shampoo I asked you to pick up on your way home?” It takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice! Now, if you have been cheated on, I can totally understand how you feel right now. And, believe me, hiding it and pretending you don’t care is wrong. Let it all out, cry, don’t keep the pain bottled up inside. Once that is out of your system you will be able to think more rationally and decide whether you want the cheater back or no.

2

Get to the Bottom of It

Talking about the things that made you or your partner resort to cheating is not easy but it’s the only way. You see, I think most of my relationships failed because of the fact that I like to shove problems under the rug and pretend that everything is OK. Now, that’s definitely the easier way but it only leads to more problems and ends with cheating, breaking up or both. Find the problems and work up the solutions so you could have a fresh start.

3

Forget the Words and Focus on the Acts

“I love you” sure did mean a lot before that cheating episode but, honestly, it’s worth a diddly squat now! So, if you are the cheating one, find other ways to demonstrate your love and regain your “relationship credibility”. Just make sure they don’t involve material things because your loved one might feel like you are trying to buy their love. Explain how sorry you are, take responsibility for your actions and be prepared to answer all the questions your partner may have.

4

Forgive and Forget

Your partner had cheated on you, you’ve discussed it and decided to move on and try to make it work. Congratulations for letting the love win! However, jealousy and the lack of trust may interfere here so make sure that, once you forgive your cheating partner and learn a lesson, you observe the cheating episode as a thing of the past. Your partner should help you with that by working hard to regain your trust and you should be open to that. Don’t give in easily because he/she has to learn a lesson too, but don’t fall into the trap of using that mistake as an excuse to act jealous, make insulting comments or make him/her suffer.

5

Rekindle the Old Flames

Think about the things that brought you two together, that made you grow strong as a couple and re-experience those moments. Start going to dinners and visiting museums once again or go camping, hiking or anything you like. Do all those things you used to do while your relationship was still fresh. You see, one of the most common reasons for cheating is the feeling of being stuck in a rut. And, let’s face it, all relationships go through that boring phase when one person knows exactly what the other person will say, do or suggest.

Famous Quotes

Happiness depends upon ourselves.

Aristotle
6

Don’t Be Vindictive

Your partner’s cheating is not your get-out-of-jail-free card. If you take his cheating as a permission to cheat back once the good opportunity comes out, what’s the point of saving the relationship now only to destroy it again in a couple of days, months or years?

7

Work on the Trust

Every healthy relationship is build upon trust so, once you manage to trust each other again, things can go their usual way. Sometimes it takes years to get the relationship to what it used to be before the “unfortunate event”, sometimes you realize that you can never feel the same for that person again but sometimes, cheating or being cheated on opens your eyes and makes you realize how much you love that person and how you can’t stand the thought of losing her. The cheater should work very hard on rebuilding that trust – no lies, no checking out other girls/guys and no shutting off the phone.

What is your take on this? Have you ever been in this situation and, if yes, how did you deal with it? Feel free to add more tips and share your opinion on cheating, forgiving and moving on. Would you find it in your heart to forgive or would you break up immediately?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

Why wait till it get worst and broken?I was wondering before now why people talk more about him, before I tested and he proved his powers. Am offering praises to Doc Osaze, though I haven’t met him face to face, but his spiritual powers penetrated deep inside me. One thing I like most about him is he is “a man of one word”, he did accurate reading and cast the spell at the appropriate time, and I also got the result at the said time. Doc stated clearly that he is only interested in my happiness, after seeing my sleepless night.I promised to share my experience to people if he finally bring back my husband, which he did, I could have written badly about him if my husband didn’t comeback as promised or if the spell had negative effects on me or my family. My husband and I are now making plans so Dr. Osaze can come visit and bless our family. Am so honored to share his email which I can recommend to people who want their lover back, email: (spirituallove@hotmail. com)

I cheated on my boyfriend of 5 years at the start of this year. Thing is we had just broken up but were in the process of mending. I was truly shattered when we did break up and turned to someone I definitely shouldn't have. He recently found out but never said anything until today. I really want to work it out, I love him to much to let this relationship go.

Hello , so I was reading this because I feel that the situation I am in right now is similar and wished for some advice I started talking to this guy I met at church and I felt like he was the right for me we had a lot of moments we had that made me think and feel a lot for him , one day we opened up to each other and we confessed to each other that we had feelings for one another and how we felt about it we decided to wait in God timing for everything to go right for us to take a relationship in God timing we thought it was best for us to be close and get to know each other more and keep praying that if its God will time passed and I was happier with him and he was as well , but there came a day where all that changed I started seeing him diferent around me he would still tell m nice things but at time I would feel him so far away I didn't understand why , throughout time I got the answer to my question through social media I saw a picture of him with another girl hugging and showing that they were in a relationship it broke me down because we had lots a hope for each other he build me a rainbow full of happiness and like any other girl I fell into depression and cried didn't know what to do , of course I asked why he did it knowing that he was talking to me and praying for me and told him t stop lying to me and show me the truth , he confessed that he was talking to the other girl and that yes it was fun but that was it with her that she was just a person he thought he would like but he realized that she wasn't the one he wanted to be with he said how he regrets it and he would of wished to tell me sooner and that he was in a moment of confusion and didn't know what he wanted and he was broken I understood I wasn't very convinced because I was hurt and I prayed I realized to give him a chance to start over with me and forget that he was talking to another girl and make things right again he felt that he didn't he didn't deserve a second chance because he felt horrible about and take all things back , right now yes I like him a lot and i still feel hurt what he did to me and don't comprehend why he did it but im willing to continue to pray and be there for him and he as well said he would put his part him talked to the girl and told her that i was the one he wanted to be with and yes she was hurt and made me feel bad in a way because I know someone was going to get hurt , its difficult because i feel like hugging him and being close but I know its not right because this is recent , I have thoughts a lot of times because i feel like how about if we get into a relationship someday and he cheats. But i feel if its God will i know we will stay together and grow together .He does tell me to look for God and pray for him and even through all the chaos that i still for God and not depend on him because he failed me My question and advice is it right for me to forgive and forget and what can I do to overcome what he did and for my heart to heal am I suppose to get away for him for a while and keep praying ? I really do want us to work and do things and he as well expressed to me that he also wants that

my boyfriend of 4 years and father of my child cheated on me about a month ago. he never came and told me i found out from the husband of the wife he slept with due to the fact that he had found them. this women was my bestfriend we talked on the phone everyday and our kids played together just about every day i had off.....My boyfriend said that it was only this one time since we had been together but she told her husband that it was multiple times in the last two years.....i never saw any signs of cheating coming from either of them.....and he swears up and down that she pursued him and he was too drunk this one time (while i was out of town) and it "accidently" happened. i dont know what to believe and notice myself getting more angry about it. i want to be able to move on but i dont know what the truth is.

I found out two days ago that of the seven months I have been dating my boyfriend he cheated on me for four... He has lied to me about everything, from day one and my world now is just... Shattered. I had suspected infidelity, and had brought it up and he admitted it, but lied and told me that he hadn't slept with this young woman since we officially began dating. I told him I forgave him, because it wasn't really cheating if we weren't fully together, but it hurt to know that he had still slept with her while we were trying to figure out if we wanted to date. Now this... And he didn't even tell me... A friend of his who I'd met once told me and then I confronted him about it. I have gotten all the information from everyone involved (including all if the people who knew it was happening and didn't say anything) I've made it very clear to this young woman that her plan to gain my fiancé (he proposed on my birthday, three weeks after the last time they slept together) as her own had failed and that she was to stay away from us and let us be. Even though I'm staying... And I DO want to fix this with him and get him help (he doesn't have a reason for why he cheated, not even a lie... He just says he doesn't know) I I don't know if I can... I moved to a different country for him, I have no one here but him... I am so incredibly list and confused. How how do I fix myself so that I can make a better and firmer decision on what to do, how do I help him so that he can be better to me I'd I do decide to stay beyond seeing him get help and how do I let go of all this hurt so that we can move on and try to move forward with our lives? I know we can't go back, I know I can't pretend it's Okay like I have been but I don't know what to donor how to feel... I'm so depressed and upset when he's sleeping or at work, but I'm trying to hide just how upset I still am when he's around... I just want to stop being so hurt by this...

You did good for telling him that, Rebecca. I'm proud of you:) A friend of mine cheated on her bf but she never told him that- he found out months later. I was actually present at that time, her phone was off and he knew she was with me so he kept calling and sending angry texts on my phone... things got REALLY ugly, I tell you. Anyways, they worked it out eventually- he loved her too much to let her go. I know they talked on the phone a lot those days, she tried not to leave the house too much, only when needed. No parties, no coffees with friends, nothing that could make him think, "She's out there having fun while you're suffering". Oh yeah, and her phone had to be on at all times. She'd freak out if her battery was low and had to text or call him immediately. And she does that even now, almost a whole year after the unfortunate event. Okay, they are a bit strange couple but that's the only cheating episode in a long distance relationship I can think of at the moment. Since it's a long distance relationship I'd suggest doing something unusual- send him a love letter, for example! Go visit him right away if you can. You will work that out, I'm sure of that. And, when you do, do everything you can to regain his trust. Maybe this sounds like I'm suggesting you should give up your own "privacy" or "send reports" of everything you do, heavens, no! The truth is that, when one cheats, a huge amount of trust is lost. So you must earn it back by showing him you have nothing to hide. P.S- Bravo for being honest and telling him. Most people would keep quiet and be like, "it's just a kiss, it didn't mean anything." Good luck and I'm keeping you my fingers crossed:) P.S.S- Gee, I wrote a novel! I guess I should stick to blogs, huh? :D

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