New year, new me! Sound familiar? Of course it does. It’s a mantra everyone at this time of year hammers into themselves. No more time-wasting. No more excuses. Nothing is going to get in my way. This year is definitely going to be my year.
But change doesn’t just fall into your lap. Some people set unrealistic targets (you are never going to be another six inches taller), and many don’t stick with their resolutions long enough for results to show.
If you’re single, and you want to not be single, you have to take action and not just take what life throws your way. Or as the old wisdom intones: ‘you have to know where you are going if you are actually going to get there’. There are many successful online dating websites now available, which have made finding like-minded people easier than ever, but the necessity of a focused mind committed to personal upheaval must not be overlooked.
Step 1 – Define What You Really Want
Some people make extensive lists for their New Year’s resolutions, but don’t feel pressured to be as ambitious. Make a quick inventory of what you’re looking for in a mate, and what about yourself you’d like to improve. Then don’t look at it for a week and come back to it. Re-assess what you’ve written, and try to shorten the list. Repeat this until you have simple, short list of essential wants that are feasible to achieve.
If you’re having trouble making a decision, maybe try online dating? Many websites put an emphasis on getting their users to think very carefully about what they want in a partner, and also provide good relationship advice.
False wants are the ruin of many a new relationship, so keep the list with you at all times to remind you: it will help you to see the potential in people, rather than relying solely on physical attraction.
Great post!! This will help a lot. I’m telling some of my friends to definitely take a look at this (:
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Hey Rose,
Aww thanks! I hope you can make and stick to all your resolutions
(not just dating ones :)
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Great post. I definitely agree about putting yourself first and showing yourself some love and respect before seeking it from someone else!
At the beginning of this year, I became sick of looking for love in the wrong places and actually swore off even trying to look for it, opting to channel that energy into my personal goals instead. Ironically, when I swore off looking for it I started encountering all sorts of guys and saw with a clearer perspective exactly why they were wrong for me. And then, even more ironically, when I reached a phase where I was truly happy with being single, I met my current boyfriend and we started dating. :-) Although I’m in a relationship now, I’ve been single long enough to realize that you can’t neglect yourself or your friends, interests, and passions just because you’re one half of a couple, and this in turn has made me a better girlfriend (i.e. not codependent).
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Hey Lisa,
That’s what always happens! You stop looking and that’s exactly when the heavens send someone your way. And hallelujah on your last lines. I have a couple of girlfriends who want to do EVERYTHING with their boyfriends. It’s like they are connected by some imaginary cord and they’d die if they didnt stick together. It’s annoying but also sad. Why can’t you have your own life that does not include your partner. Good job on putting yourself first! :)
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That is a great story, Lisa. I hope your story inspires our readers here. :)
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Great post for sure. These are all things that users on our site have talked about. The idea of considering yourself is very important…especially when looking at what all our users say about dating in general. They all agree (easier said then done) that you need to be in line with yourself before you go out and try to find someone compatible.
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Lovely post..
I will share this with all my single friends!! :)
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