19 Tips for How to Read Men's Mixed Signals ...

I feel like he wants everything but the label

Hi well the thing is with me is that we've kissed. But the next time I saw him he said that he didn't feel like he knew me enough to start a relationship with me, that he wants to hang out and get to know me. But I'm worried he might lose interest in me.

Please, help me! I met one of my best friends about a year ago. We got close about a month after we met. I don't know what it was, I am usually so picky. But I fell for him. He is almost 2 years older than me and about 2 months after we start frequently hanging out he gets a girlfriend. At first I was so happy for him, he never seemed interested anyway. But after he started dating her whenever we would hang out he was much more physically close to me. We often play fight and will cut and leave bruises on each other but be laughing the whole time. Well three different times he pinned me down and kissed ME! He said he didn't regret it but distanced himself so much I thought he was a different person.... We fought. 2 months later we talk for 5 days... Me doing most of the talking and we decided to be friends again. He always calls me his sister. But recently he told me if I just kissed him like I meant it we could move past it all. Well I did, he kissed me back. Things got very heavy. He loves his girlfriend more than anyone else in the world. She is practically his only family. And then there's me. After our fight he told me that he had loved me back... Had. What do I do? This boy drives me crazy, will walk or ride miles if I'm upset, call, steal. He would give up a lot for me. But how am I supposed to even hug him or see him when all I think about is how he has to hold back around me? I swear! ... He's my best friend my brother and so much more to me. What should I do???

Hey this is REALLY LONG... Kind of a long story, So I have this ex, we dated about five or six years ago but we broke up because that's what happens to highschool relationships when you go to different schools and rarely get to see each other. But we still talked on the phone every once in a while... I got a new boyfriend and he got a new girlfriend and that was that, we still never saw each other. Well we did end up running into each other at a mutual friends house but it'd been so long since we were actually face to face that I asked him if he remembered me and I don't know if it's just the way his eyes are but they always seem to brighten when we run into each other. Turns out he did remember me and we ended up spending a lot of time together and becoming pretty close friends... me, him and my boyfriend. It'd get to where he'd spend the night when we'd all drink together or party or whatever. He'd always seem to end up sitting next to me, talking to me, leaving at the same time as me, and I'm no expert on body language but I noticed he always faced me, leaning into me when we talked or sitting so close to me that we'd be touching shoulder to shoulder and thigh to thigh. And his eyes always seemed to light up when he saw me. I remember we were at a party together and a friend of his was hitting on me and paying me a lot of attention(unwanted, I was still with the boyfriend,) and until then I'd never seen my ex lose his cool like that. He immediately started with the crazy arm movements and finger pointing telling his friend that he can't talk to me and to leave me alone. I was shocked and I figured that his friend must be a real creep for him to have gotten so upset. Well, he ended up getting in trouble a few months later and losing his license and my boyfriend moved out of the area and we didn't hear from him for a while, we'd occasionally get together or bump into each other, it's a really small world because for some reason me and my ex seem to run into each other a lot. We ran into each other at a new years eve party and me him and the boyfriend pretty much spent the night in a corner of the room catching up and hanging out (I'll let you guess what seating order we ended up in, I don't know what it is but I don't think I've seen him act the way he does with other girls, giving me no personal space whatsoever and I swear his eyes light up when he sees me) and I guess my ex's ride to the party left without him because he ended up coming back to the hotel me and my boyfriend and a few other friends we're staying at, and since there we're only two beds one couple got a bed to themselves... and for some reason instead of sharing a bed with that couple my ex ended up between me and my boyfriend and this other couple (we weren't sleeping, just recuperating until our ride was ok to drive,) and since my bf gets all creeped out by male contact I ended up between him and my ex and we just carried on talking and catching up like we weren't way too close to each other. Since them we've kept in better touch, we used to talk a lot, facebook, texting, but we rarely saw each other, he'd ask me to hang out and I'd say sure come hang out with me and the bf and he'd give me some excuse, "he lives too far away now, I have to work tomorrow/ get up early," so I just figured he was being lame because he was being lazy. But we kept talking you know as friends, until he found out that me and the bf we're having some serious issues, like planning to cheat on me issues, and I left town for a little bit and all of a sudden he starts sending me texts hitting on me hard... and not knowing or caring really what was going to happen with the bf I sort of started responding to him because I care about this guy, and there's always been, at least for me a little spark of attraction left lingering. Here's where I got confused... all of a sudden he stops. No texts, IMs, calls, nothing. So I'm like... what the hell was that about? Eventually I hear from him again, "hey" "what's up?" "Are you single yet?" And I'm like.. whaat? Why are you asking me that? And he get's all huffy "If you don't know then there's no point in me asking." Whaaat? I didn't know.. so many years of me just thinking he was a space invader that liked to invade my space in particular. And then he openly flirts a little? And I'm just supposed to gather from that that he's interested in me? I just thought he was drunk or something. I mean like... a million years ago he jokingly asked me to date him again if me and the bf broke up, over the phone, before we even started hanging out again or he knew who the bf was. So I tell him he's confusing. And he tells me I'm being difficult and that I should know that he's always had a thing for me. I mean... I'd always had feelings for him he was kind of the what if that I knew wouldn't ever happen because we we're friends. I told him I had feelings for him too... we talked a lot for a few days... and then he tells me he feels guilty about the bf (who has by now become a pretty big asshole...the whole planning to cheat on me thing not even being strike one,) I say I'm sorry, I know you two are friends. And that's it. We stop talking... again. For a while. Except the occasional drunk "are you single yet" or "Hey what's up?" at 5 am. And that's it, until my big long waste of time relationship with the bf fizzles to the ground after he tries to tell me that I can't be friends with yet another person. So feeling vulnerable and unfortunately only having male friends, I make plans with the one that I THOUGHT least likely to try anything funny (not my ex, I was not about to hit him up like heyy I know we haven't talked in a while and I can't tell if you're mad at me or think I'm mad at you because we never see each other anymore) and I really needed a friend. This was a long relationship I finally had had the courage to finally call quits on. So we made plans to hang out the following night, but I couldn't sleep so I was up having a few drinks because I had yet to adjust to being finally free... and would you guess who sends me a text at like 5 am? Yep my ex, the first one, the confusing one. And he's like... "what's up?' So I tell him I'm having some difficulty sleeping. So he tells me he's at a friends house near where I live and he couldn't sleep either and asks if I want to hang out. So I'm like sure because it's lonely by yourself at 5 am being freshly broken up and drunk. So I sneak out to meet him (I'm not very old and I still live with my parents and they don't really take too kindly to me going out to meet boys before the crack of dawn.) We meet up with each other and he gives me this bear hug type thing and we start the walk back to my house, catching up and what not, and I realize it's like misty and damp outside but we can't go back to my house until everyone leaves. So we end up stopping to sit at a pic-nick table out of site of the road and do some more catching up, and because it's damp and cold he gets cold (I'm still kind of feeling the warmth of the alcohol and I didn't forget my jacket like someone did) so he puts his arms around me for "warmth" and tells me I smell like alcohol. We try to find a comfortable position to relax in on the table's bench seat but it just wasn't going to work so we decide to go try and find some where more comfortable to wait and the whole time we're walking around he's chattering my ear off with his arm around me like the way we left off wasn't totally awkward. We try to sit on a sewer drain, but too many people we're giving us funny looks when they left their houses to go to work, even though we we're just sitting and talking. So then we try to get comfortable on one of those green boxes... and it was really uncomfortable. Finally we did find something that worked and it was out of the way... one of those construction pipes that looks like a tube. Fortunately we are both on the thin side so we fit in one laying side by side with me a little on top of him because there really was not a lot of room in there, but at least we we're warm, and out of site. So we hung out in a construction tube just talking(him mostly, he talks a lot in person and I don't) and eventually cuddling since we were already pretty much squished together. Finally we we're able to go back to my house and get warm and we went upstairs to my room and tried to cuddle some more, but he fell asleep and I just couldn't still so I left him up there and let him sleep for a little while. Eventually I woke him up though because I had to go get my sister from school in an hour or so and I had told him he had to leave before she got home (not usually aloud to have people over) so we talked for a little while more... not about anything really serious and then he asked if he really had to leave and I said I'd see what I could do. So we walked to go get my sister, and when we got to the park where I usually wait and meet her at he started asking me if I was single yet, and I told him I may as well have been, that I didn't want to be with the bf anymore, yada yada. And the whole time we'd been hanging out he'd still been doing the whole space invader super close to the point where we pretty much touched shoulders or knees or whatever while he was leaning towards me. Putting his arms around me and kissing me while we we're cuddling earlier. Ended up telling my sister I ran into him at the gas station and that he had no where to go, so he could stay longer. Because besides the physical contact, I really liked this guy, I liked talking to him, I liked that he did most of the talking, we'd known each other for what seemed like forever and he was my what if you know? Well it seemed like I'd finally get to find out just what if, FINALLY. I'd been drawn to this guy for a long time... I don't know what it is about him. He's kind of a weirdo. Maybe it's just because I can't figure him out, one minute he's hot and the next he's cold and sometimes I feel like he's a manipulator and sometimes I feel like he's a lost puppy. Whatever he is though I know I like being around him, and talking to him. So we had a good rest of the day, it felt really nice to be able to be alone with him... or semi alone. We cuddled and watched tv with my sister, until my mom came home and then her and my sister left to go out to eat, leaving us alone again. We we're supposed to go see the friend I had originally planned to hang out with. I wanted to bring my ex along though because I'd been informed after it was too late that this 'friend,' did not just want to be my friend and I wanted my ex to kind of stay with us so it didn't get weird. Well it got weird, because when the "friend" was on the way to come and get us from my house, I guess he tried to call us but we didn't pick up right away so he starts flipping out texting my ex asking him what we we're doing and if anything was going on between ups like getting all scary posessive about me, to my ex, telling him he wanted to hook up with me and that he didn't want him coming along being a "cock-block," but we couldn't stay at my house because when my dad got home from work he noticed that his beer was missing (I drank it, he's a butthead,) so we had to leave my house like pronto. We walked and talked while my ex and this guy we're texting god knows what, and I'm trying to find someone to come and pick us up. No one ended up coming through so we ended up buying a 40 from the gas station and went to go find somewhere to sit and figure out what to do. We ended up actually talking about us a little bit... he likes me, I like him, blah blah, but by then we are both so agitated that we we're stranded that that particular conversation went no where. Eventually the "friend" who was originally going to come get us came and got us, flipped out when my ex tried to sit in between me and the "friend" and had the driver go straight to my ex's house. Pulled a fast one, and I was like... I don't want you to leave. And I got a "don't worry about it." And yeah that "friend" did try something later, and got shot the hell down. But that's not what my ex thinks. So after not talking again, I tried to forget about him and let my more recent ex talk me into giving him yet ANOTHER chance... and that was fine, at least someone's happy in all this, though it's definitely not me. Tried to forget my ex again, deleted messages, texts, contact info. And it was working again for a while, then he facebooks me a few times with a "hi" and I'll respond "hey" and nothing. Then after a few solitary "his" he texts me at like 5 am again, Asking me if I was mad at him/had a problem with him. I told him no it was just awkward now. So he lightens the mood by asking me a ridiculous question about something he's insecure about, I told him to stop worrying and asked if that was what he was texting me at the crack of dawn for and he said no he just couldn't sleep. (Found out he had court later that morning) Asked me if I thought he asked weird questions, I said uhh I guess, and he said that I'd told him before that he did. Like I remember everything that comes out of my mouth. Told him I probably said that because he is a weirdo and weirdos ask weird questions. Didn't bring up the fact that he did that annoying, confusing, hot cold crap AGAIN. Because I was really trying to just move on. I couldn't deal with hot cold. So again.... ignoring eachother, or pretending that he doesn't exist, whatever. Then, and this is the like icing on the cake. He shows up with another friend at my once again boyfriends house while I'm there. And I'm like oh crap. Boyfriend doesn't know there was anything between us beyond us dating for a few months back in high school... Would have killed him if he did. so I'm wondering why he had to show up, and make me feel REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE, I didn't say a word to him at first. My stomach sank like a rock. Like why wont you go awayy? You never hang out with the boyfriend, you didn't have to come. You knew I'd be here and I'm sure you knew that despite what I said about not being mad at you, I was tired of your shit and I didn't want to see you. And of course I didn't need to say anything to him, he decided to have a conversation with me AROUND my current boyfriend who was for once sitting between us... because I scooted as far away as I could before he even sat down. Then once the boyfriend leaves the room for a second he does this whole moves so he's directly in front of me and is like "Hi (my name)" Staring at me with those eyes again. The friend he came with is like... wtf? And the ex starts talking about something random to fill the awkward silence until the boyfriend gets back. Then it's sort of like the old days for a little bit... until it's time to say goodbye because thank god they are leaving, it sucked you know? Happy to see him and at the same time, feeling totally uncomfortable that I had to see him there, and totally annoyed that I had to see him at all....because I was trying to forget any romantic feelings for his ass. And my friend that the ex came with gives me a goodbye hug, a normal, short goodbye hug. Then my ex comes and leans down and gives me this weird hug/rubbing/patting me on the back thing for way too long, the friend looking at us like "Hmmmm. That's weird." And that's the last time I saw him, and I heard from him again about a week after that, sent me another 5 am hi. I didn't respond for a while that time. What do I do? Can we ever go back to being friends? Why can't I get a read on this guy?? I feel like I'm playing chess sometimes. I don't understand. If he doesn't want to be with me, why is he being such a weirdo? I'm not being a weirdo about it, I'm willing to let it go, and move on. You know we left off pretty lame but come on, I'm trying to get over him can't he let me do that? Or if he does want to be with me, why wont he make himself clear. He did it once... kind of. All his body language says yes... when I catch him looking at me it's always at my face, when he talks to me he's looking me in the eye. But everything else says no. I don't want to feel all this tension when I see a text from him. I deleted his contact info for crying out loud. I don't know what he wants from me, but I always always always feel like he's messing with my head.

i slept with this guy on the last day of high school and then we met at a party and he said it didnt mean anything, for which i tred to act like i thought the same thing. However, a year later we met at a party and we started talkng again and we kissed. We then met atanother party and kissed again. The thing is i text him and asked him to meet up with me and we talked for ages about everything and anything. We didnt kiss or hold hands or anything and i thought i was reading into the friendship a bit too fast as it was the first timewe had spoken to each other when we were both sober. However, he tried holding my hand when we were on the way home and we kissed. He said he'd text me and its been threedays and ive heard nothing. I DONT UNDERSTAND THIS! am i reading into things too much? Isnt a guy suposed to text when he said he will? The thing is is that he has just gotten out of a relationship which lasted 6 months and mentioned that it was a little soon after her. fvghjlp;lokjhnyg HELP?

Okay so there is this guy and we have a class together and he flirts and give me hugs and stares at me in class and then he won't even say hi to me outside of class and I texted him trying to see if he wanted to hangout and he said no he has to do somthing that day and that he's really sorry I'm so confused I lie him a lot and want to tell him but. I'm scared if he doesn't and I ruin our friendship too... Ughhh this has been driving me crazy! Help me please :(

Very interesting subject and points! They surley send mixed signals and some of them don't know what they mean! I truly think that most of us wouldn't understant them!