So you want to break up with him! No matter how sour the relationship has turned there’s no need to hurt his ego in the process. Here are some ways you can call it quits without hurting him!
A divorce, separation or, in general, any loss of an important relationship is a painful experience. Such pain can seriously diminish our peace and happiness.
William, How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days
Say it in person
How would you feel if he spread news about your break-up on Facebook or just instant messaged you about it? You would hate it not to mention suffer from downright depression. Break-up with him face to face. You owe him that!
No matter what he did, he deserves respect enough for a face-to-face breakup. Don’t cop out with a text message…
No guilt slamming please!
You may have started to dislike him but while breaking up don’t play the blame game. Avoid bringing up past issues and don’t go on a mud-slinging spree. It just makes things worse!
No comparisons
If you have found yourself another man in your life the last thing you should do is to compare him with your new guy. Just tell him there is someone else and move on. Don’t dwell on it as it will only rub salt in the wound!
Girls always tell you that it isn’t you, that if they wanted to be with anyone it would be you, it’s just that they aren’t ready for a relationship. And then two weeks later they’re dating someone new.
No abusive language
You need to break-up with some amount of dignity. Never make the mistake of using abusive language. You will end up regretting it later. Be a lady. Let him remember you as someone he respects.
No middlemen
You may have met each other through a common friend. But there is no reason why you need your friend to convey the news to your man. Don’t use intermediaries or even your parents for that matter!
Don’t get even
If he has been cheating on you it can be tempting to get even with him. However do not do it – it will just give you a horrible empty feeling when you think about it later. So don’t spread rumours or hang your dirty laundry in public.
Follow the golden rule. Do unto others as you’d like them to do unto you. This is someone you care about very much, or you wouldn’t even be attempting a friendship. Treat them like you care.
LMNtal Attraction
Don’t break up on a holiday!
It can be very hard on him if you break up with him during the holidays. He will just mope around and drive everyone else crazy. Choose a working day so he can keep busy and find other distractions.
Don’t do it in public
Avoid breaking up with him in a public place. Places like shopping complexes and restaurants are a strict no-no. Instead choose a nice and quiet place to talk. It’s an emotional moment and he won’t want to seem weak and vulnerable in a public place.
Pick an appropriate place. Remember, ending a relationship is a humbling experience. Don’t do it in a place where the person on the receiving end is going to feel more vulnerable than necessary.
Crid Lee, All About Dating and Romance
Your favourite locations
Don’t break up at your favourite eating joint. He may not be able to go there again especially if you broke his heart. Choose a neutral setting instead where you both will be comfortable.
Be straightforward – without being blunt
You need to lay out the facts but don’t go overboard. Being blunt can hurt his feelings. Just tell him the reasons so he knows why you’re doing it. Leave your verbal dagger at home!
Make sure you say a lot of positive things about the person before you break the news about why you want to break up. Just be sure you don’t go overboard on the compliments. He will respond with, “if I’m so amazing, why are you leaving me?”
Faking Good Breeding
Breaking up with someone
can be traumatic. Hopefully with these tips the event won’t leave a scar. Remember- leave with your dignity intact and don’t do anything you would regret later!
Great tips. These apply to women too.
What if your bf cheated on you? Wold you still consider his ego?
I wouldn’t consider his ego if he cheated on me.
I would even do the don’t s in this list. =)
You should never compare your boyfriends with your ex:) Both men and women hate comparison.
I agree. We all hate being compared with our partner’s past relationships. A sure thing to break one’s ego.
unfortunately, yes, even if he has cheated on you, if you really love him you do care about his feelings – as much as that stinks! lol
[...] (Let him down easy: Tips on Breaking Up.) [...]
I have a friend who want to break up with this guy. The problem is she’s in love with another person, its like she cheated and now wants to set things straight. The other problem is that she don’t want to hurt her new boyfriend rather soon-to-be ex. So as her bestfriend I don’t know what to do. She’s always talking about breaking up with this dude but he seems to be perfect its like he has no intention of hurting her. Whenever she tries to break the ice, he just do something romantic for her as if he knows that she wants to break up with him. Another thing is that she don’t want to hurt the love of her life cause they share a lot together.
if you gotta break up, do it on the spot, in the car, in public, cause if thats how u feel,and do it right away and who cares if the ladies heart is broken, she asked for it cause they all play around with our emotion anyway, so the public would be best thing to do cause she can save face while yours are trashed, but just know you did it for her. wheather it was in a nice way or not ,she will never know how you did it for her, (saving her face and reputation) and thats her loss for losing somebody like that.and only i can judge me and will not allow a woman to judge me for me. and i dont give a shit what others think,and thats the biggest problem with women(they care about what others think). and thats okay, thats their nature as with men too. and being a heart breaker is also natures way of saying you suck. but at least you saved face. cause the women is never at fault…right???
Histronic,
You sound bitter about something to me. Anyway, I would never break up with someone in public and if someone did that to me, I’d throw a glass of water on his face.
love the tips
Hey Masego,
Thanks for stopping by! Glad you liked these tips. Use them wisely :)