10+ Critical Don'ts to Avoid when Arguing

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COMMENT

Arguing is a perfectly normal part of any relationships, but as with everything there are a few key mistakes to avoid. Following these guidelines will keep your disagreements from getting out of hand.

1. Don't Wait to Confront a Problem

If you are upset about something speak up.

Holding anger in will only lead to a blow out at a later time over something that is not the real issue.

2. Don't Stray from the Real Issue

It makes no sense to yell about the dishes not getting cleaned when the argument is about not feeling appreciated.

3. Don't Yell or Scream

4. Don't Name Call

Calling names is only going to add fuel to the fire.

Remember to focus on the issue.

5. Don't Place Blame

Own your feelings by using “I” statements not “you” statements.

6. Don't Expect Anyone to “just Know” Why You Are Mad

You have to speak your words.

It is very unlikely you are arguing with a mind reader.

7. Don't Lie, Not Even by Submission

Be honest.

It’s the only way to make progress.

8. Don't Let the Argument Carry on Endlessly

Work together to find a solution.

9. Don't Ignore Apologies

10. Don't Forget to Follow through ...

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with your end of the final agreement.

11. Your suggestion ... add it now

Disagreements are not a deal breaker in a relationship.2

Just remember to stay calm and focused on the issue.

When a solution be sure to hold up your end of the bargain.

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