Arguing is a perfectly normal part of any relationships, but as with everything there are a few key mistakes to avoid. Following these guidelines will keep your disagreements from getting out of hand.

#1. Don’t wait to confront a problem.

If you are upset about something speak up. Holding anger in will only lead to a blow out at a later time over something that is not the real issue.

#2. Don’t stray from the real issue.

It makes no sense to yell about the dishes not getting cleaned when the argument is about not feeling appreciated.

#3. Don’t yell or scream.

#4. Don’t name call. 

Calling names is only going to add fuel to the fire. Remember to focus on the issue.

#5. Don’t place blame. 

Own your feelings by using “I” statements not “you” statements.

#6. Don’t expect anyone to “just know” why you are mad.

You have to speak your words. It is very unlikely you are arguing with a mind reader.

#7. Don’t lie, not even by submission. 

Be honest. It’s the only way to make progress.

#8. Don’t let the argument carry on endlessly.

Work together to find a solution.

#9. Don’t ignore apologies.

#10. Don’t forget to follow through …

… with your end of the final agreement.

#11. Your suggestion … add it now

Disagreements are not a deal breaker in a relationship. Just remember to stay calm and focused on the issue. When a solution be sure to hold up your end of the bargain.